If you’re not familiar with Suzy’s story, you can read about her spoiled rich kid troubles HERE. In a nutshell, little Suzy is upset that, despite being of the Caucasian Persuasion, she did not have first dibs on her college of choice; she muses that lesbians and international students are stealing her seat at Ivy League schools. Though her piece is a self-proclaimed satire, the nature of her complaints makes wonder if it’s not an 18-year-old’s version of a toddler’s tantrum. Suzy lives in my neck of the woods, but I’m too busy wiping my kids’ butts to chat her up (by the way, that’s what 6+ years of college will get ya, Suzy: a Masters Degree in Wiping), so I’ve responded to her editorial with one of my own.
Hello. I am white so my ideas are very important. You may not like them, but that’s okay. In fact, you are encouraged to contact Anderson Cooper regarding my communication, as I would so love to be on his show!
Now that we’ve gotten the formalities out of the way, let’s examine the “satire” you wrote after being rejected from various Ivy League schools, AKA: #FirstWorldProblems.
First up, you acknowledge that you “offer[s] about as much diversity as a saltine cracker.” I giggled because I thought you were calling yourself a “cracker,” then I realized you wouldn’t get the joke. Anyway, while you may have been talking about your bland skin color, I would like to politely point out that your personality is also pretty blah. Sure, you’re impressive using words like dearth, but I wonder if some of that sparkling racist charm seeped through your college essays, solidifying your spot on admission’s Oh Hayle No List.
I also wonder if you have many friends. Why would I say such a thing about a kid? Because you said this:
“…had I known two years ago what I know now, I would have gladly worn a headdress to school. Show me to any closet, and I would’ve happily come out of it.”
In keeping with my girl Tina Fey’s SNL skit, I respond with REALLY?! Really, Suzy? So you would gladly become a minority who has experienced intolerance, social injustice, bullying and bigotry so you could go to a fancy school? Just want to make sure I’m understanding you. To clarify: you’re an elitist who has zero empathy?
I’m not going to lie to you, Suzy; I kinda wanted to punch you in the larynx when I read this part of your fascinating “satire:”
“I should have done what I knew was best. Go to Africa, scoop up some suffering child, take a few pictures, and write my essays about how spending that afternoon with Kinto changed my life.”
Holy shit, girl. You’re a real piece of work.
Know what I make my son do when we’re done playing Candyland? We shake hands and the loser offers the winner a heartfelt congratulations. You may find this silly because you prefer to put on your pissy pants when you don’t get your own way, but I believe that I’m modeling the kind of respectful behavior I hope my son emulates when he doesn’t make the team or is rejected from his college of choice.
Listen, I know that you are disappointed. I can imagine how disgusted you and Mom and Dad were when you sat down at the dinner table to discuss how unfair it is that those pesky African American, gay, and Indian students stole your spot at Stanford. But would it have been so hard to shake your classmates’ hands and congratulate them?
What I’m trying to say here is that my 3-year-old is a better person than you. Also? Your parents’ epic fail in raising you is duly noted.
Here’s the thing, Suz. Can I call you Suz? I give you credit for not accepting no as the answer to something you want so badly, and for keeping your eye on the prize. More power to ya, really. But the manner in which you presented yourself, in writing and on national television, made you look like a bitter, spoiled, pretentious, entitled brat. And don’t even get me started on your parents! Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy for you and your GPA. Your SAT scores are incredible, and as an English teacher who hails from your neck of the woods (how ’bout them Buccos?!), I would give my left arm to have a student of your caliber in my class. That said, numbers and scores don’t speak to your character; your actions speak to your character. And after your stint on The Today Show, a lot of people think you kinda suck. I am among them.
I understand that not everyone will share my opinion; in fact, I’ve spoken with some this evening who believe what you are saying has merit. To each her own. But the bottom line is this: life has a way of leveling the playing field. This state school gal is currently working with Harvard and Notre Dame graduates, and these women make the same amount of money as I, and–hold onto your white hood, Suz–we are friends.
Do you need a minute?
I sincerely wish you all the best, and I hope that you achieve your goals and reach your dreams and all that other happy crap. In the meantime, if you need a lesson in humility and grace, my 3-year-old and his Candyland board are available after nap time.
Please don’t compare your writing to 30 Rock ever again,
Let’s be friends…
Originally published April 4, 2013
Chris Carter says
OH YEAH…YOU TELL HER…THAT A GIRL!!! Take THAT Suz! Suzie Q has to see this post…perhaps her parents too. A perfect example of the entitlement our society is allowing and quite frankly breeding in our youth. Baking extra crispy ones like Suzie Q too. Shame on us. Shame on them. Shame on her…
A perfect example of the entitlement our society is allowing and quite frankly breeding in our youth. <-----Couldn't have said it better myself, Chris.
Janine Huldie says
Loved this Syephanie and you seriously said a mouthful here! I truly still can’t believe this girl and the audacity of her. You go girl and said it perfectly!!
I love satire, but not when it is so angry and hateful. That little girl is not funny or clever. I went to high school with a girl just like that. She’s a judge now. 🙁
I also love an open letter! You tell her!
Ugh, a judge? I’m sure she’s not allowing her entitlement to cloud her judgement at all…
And you’re exactly right about the satire, Amy; what she wrote was NOT funny, it was NOT tongue-in-cheek. It was pissy and spiteful. That, my dear Suzy, is not what a satire is!
Patricia Robertson says
I am just now hearing of this “Satire” from reading your blog post here and watching the little video. I personally think it is great for a young girl to have such great ambition and go-getitness (is that a word or did I just create one GO ME!!!) However, to go as far as saying she would go to Africa and scoop up a child to take pics and write a essay to make sure she got in. WOWZA this is definitely a child who has not experienced or seen true suffering. Be honest could you go to Africa, India, or anywhere else and be witness to such dire need, pain, and suffering without coming back a changed person? How dare her mock those who have done so!!!! It is apparent that she does not know what a child who is literally starving to death looks like. Now mind you I have never been out of the US but I do know what this looks like. To even have the thought of using the suffering of others as a benefit to yourself is probably a quality that the school saw in her through her applications and essays she had to complete while applying. I believe that this young lady does not understand that her denial had not a thing to do with someone of more diverse background getting her spot and everything to do with them seeing right through to the real her. If there was any closet that this young lady walked out of it was the “oh crap I am not as entitled as I thought I was” closet. To be fair though I do wish young Suzy much success and I do pray that she will travel to Africa for real and let it change her life because it would. NO DOUBT!!! Also she may want to know that what the man tries to hide God can always see.
Patricia, if you did in fact invent a new word, YOU READ IT HERE FIRST, EVERYONE–YA HEAR THAT?! 😉
I love that you acknowledge and admire her ambition; as a woman, I, too, applaud her for going after what she wants. But DAY-AM!!!! Simmer down, Suz.
Patricia Robertson says
SIMER DOWN!!!! I love SNL!!! LOL
Question? How did she get her “satirical” piece published in the first place? Mommy and Daddy’s connections. This was clearly the first situation she had come across in her life where being well-connected and monied didn’t get her what she wanted.
Wah. Cry me a river, sweetie.
Jill Pinnella Corso says
Agreed. The other article said her sister used to be an assistant editor of the WSJ Op-Ed section.
Jill’s right, Karen; her older sister works(ed?) there and got her the “in.” Shocking, right?
This is clearly a girl who isn’t used to being told no. Just looking at her in that interview makes me want to slap her. What she sees as her being intelligent and satirical I see as a spoilt brat stamping her feet and yelling “I WANT!!!” And her narrow minded attitude as to what it takes to be a minority is insulting to the extreme.
I wouldn’t be surprised if the next op-ed piece she managed to get into the Wall Street Journal is a piece whining about how all her haters are big meanies, in a totally “satirical” way.
Erin, you’re so on point with this: And her narrow minded attitude as to what it takes to be a minority is insulting to the extreme. I’ve been thinking about this a lot: if I am one of her minority classmates who was accepted into my school of choice, and I hear her BS about this, I’m beyond offended. How dare she discount my ability and hard work like that! The nerve!
jumpin'jack flash says
I agree that Suzie presented herself very poorly in the editorial and on TV. Her comments were from the mouth of an immature whiner that didn’t get her way, and she is now even further from getting accepted into a prestigous school than she was last week. She is also making very bold accusations against the colleges without presenting any facts or evidence to support her stance. Did the rejection letters that she received from the schools say, “Sorry Suzie, but unfortunately we have already met our quota for brilliant white girls. We are now pursuing intelligent black male homosexuals in order to achieve a diverse student population.” Does she have any enrollment data from the schools? Are there mexicans, gays, blacks, etc. with lower GPA’s and lower SAT’s getting accepted just because they are mexicans, gays, blacks, etc.? Does she have any “proof” of this? Or is she just making an assumption? Maybe she is a racist whining baby that should shut up. Maybe she has a valid point. Maybe things like Title IX (gender equality law) and affirmitve action (race/ethnicity equality movement) should be revisited. Perhaps our efforts over the last 50 years to level the playing field for women and minorities have worked so well that we have reached a point where more qualified whites and/or males are actually suffering? When will we get to the point in our society where “the most qualified applicant” gets the job regardless of race or gender?
Interesting that only white males have had these views. I’m not saying you’re necessarily wrong, but I wonder if white dudes aren’t getting a taste of what it’s like to be the runner-up, so to speak, and they don’t like it at all so they’re crying foul. That said, the most qualified person should ALWAYS get the job, but what’s not discussed here is what this little lady did (or didn’t do) in terms of contributing to her community, volunteering her time, etc. If she’s always looking out for herself, she’s not impacting anyone else, and–in my humble opinion–doesn’t deserve the best of the best.
Yes and more yes. I had the exact same reaction when I watched her on the Today show. Yup, those gays and minorities get everything, don’t they Suzy? Cheezus crackers, she was awful. Awful. I would like to send her a dictionary so she can look up “satire” cuz her article ain’t it.
Real talk right there: a SATIRE is meant to be tongue-in-cheek FUNNY. Not blatantly offensive. One would think ol’ Suz would know this seeing as how she’s a standardized test taking wizard.
I agree with you, but just to be an a-hole, let me just give this young lady (who lacks all kinds of social grace) the benefit of the satirical doubt. Perhaps she wasn’t going for the funny, Horatian variety, but the Juvenalian. Maybe if she would have known the difference, she could have saved her face a bit better. Or maybe she should keep her mouth shut 🙂
I love the English teacher in you, Trish 🙂
Dani Ryan says
Well, if she had any hope in hell of getting into an Ivy League school next year (or making it off of any of those waiting lists), I think it’s safe to bet she’s now completely shit out of luck! 🙂
(Nicely done, by the way!)
You’re right, Dani! If she had hoped that mouthing off on national TV was going to win her that last spot at Brown, sorry ’bout her luck!
I may be opening a new “can of worms” with this statement…but here goes.
This is what we get when people insist on making sure every child believes they are ALL winners.
Let me clarify before someone bites my head off. (Steph, please excuse any grammar issues. Lol)
I am for participation. I am for the little ones “everybody plays” rule. However, when we get a little older, some of these kids need to realize not everyone is created equal. Ribbons and medals are not just handed out at the end of everything. (And neither are admissions to an Ivy League school). Otherwise, we would not watch the Olympics, football, or Baseball etc. Nor would the top player be paid (outrageous) amounts of money. Now, I am sure I could go on… but my 4 year old would like me to read her a stack of books.
Jill Pinnella Corso says
True story. I have a friend who works in the arts, with a lot of entitled kids fresh out of school, whose parents set up their jobs and still support them because the arts don’t pay much. Fine fine.
But one of the girls had an internship, showed up late regularly, ignored work assignments she felt were below her, was nice and friendly, did most things but never put in any extra effort. She was shocked when she didn’t get a full time job. We’re doing kids a disservice by teaching them that everyone gets a prize at the end if they just show up.
Does it make me a terrible person to admit that I LOVE this chica wasn’t hired? So be it because this story rocks!
April, I think your can of worms is valid and relevant, so open away, lady! And for what it’s worth, I agree. There is something to be said for competition, and there’s a lot more to be said for working at full potential (which a lot of kids don’t, so kudos to Suzy). HOWEVER, there is also something called admitting defeat and being a gracious loser. Suz missed that memo.
Paula J says
Hi Stephanie!! Just found you thru the MTM Party and am following you on Pinterest, Twitter and G+ :))
I invite you to stop by anytime this weekend and link up with my NO RULES Weekend Blog Party 🙂
Hey, Paula! Thanks for stopping by! I’ll return the favor as soon as my blood pressure returns to normal today. Damn Suzy has my knickers in a bunch…
Jill Pinnella Corso says
Well said, Steph! I hadn’t heard about this story before but hot damn. Since she didn’t get into her first choice, maybe she can go to Towson and join the White Student Union (http://jezebel.com/5992735/insane-white-student-union-patrols-campus-in-face-of-perceived-black-crime-wave).
Obviously we can’t help our ethnicity, but she’s completely missing the point that her upper-middle class whiteness gave her a leg up on many minorities and immigrants, not a disadvantage against them.
Now, now Jill. Suzy can’t help that she’s white and not an immigrant. Let’s focus on what she can control: the fact that she’s a big ol’ bitch face. 😉
Mom Rants and Comfy Pants says
Day-um!! Very articulate and all I can say is Bravo!!
Thank you kindly, Penny 🙂 I was actually going to give you a shout-out for the award you gave me, but I had to get this outta the way first 😉 Next week, I promise!
Wow. Given her SAT scores, Suzy should be better at math. One of the schools (Princeton, maybe?) takes 7% of its 26,000 applicants. That’s 1820 students, Suzy. And they are all as bright and well rounded as you are. Why are you any better than the 24,180 kids who were also rejected? Way to tell her, Stephanie!
I don’t think Suzy conducted too much research before blasting the schools and the students that were accepted to them. I’d like to see her Works Cited Page, please.
The Next Step says
Being a mom of 3 girls, I have to wonder – how much of this attitude is the fault of Suzy’s mom & dad? How much pushing did they do toward those Ivy-covered walls for her to throw such at tantrum at not getting it? Did they push, or did they just continue the age old “you can have whatever you want if you want it bad enough” line?
Someone please tell me, so that my kids don’t turn out to be brats like this!
Haha! I wish I knew because I don’t want my kids to be a-holes either! I have to assume her parents instilled this in her and then gave her their blessing to go on national TV.
Thanks for reading and commenting!
This is not the most dignified comment on here, but after reading the article and the shit she said about schools being all about diversity and not grades, made me think…this little girl has been watching “How High” one too many times. Just the whole diversity comment wanted me to punch her in her throat. 😉 What is up with these kids these days!? My husband has a tattoo “apprentice” that probably hasn’t been in for over a month. No call no show. (Honestly, I think the shop is being too nice to him. Not my shop, so I can’t call the shots.) Nothing. Lives with mommy and daddy who apparently support him, but you see all the cool shit he does on social media. Seriously!? When I was 21, I wanted absolutely nothing to do with my parents. Hell, at 18 I wanted to get as far as I could from them. That’s where my parents lessons came into place (dammmnnn you!!). I understand the whole go get em attitude, but it made her sound, like you said, elitist. Sooooo, what she’s saying is just cause I’m Hispanic , I can go to a ivy league school JUST cause I’m a beautiful off white caramel color?! SCORE! Someone’s gotta punch some sense and respect into her.
I really hope I’m old school enough to bring back the way I was raised. (Damnit, the ONE thing we said we weren’t gonna be…is actually the one way to raise a child with respect, kindness and dignity)
I feel like I’m Stevie Wonders with all the head shaking that article is making me do. (from that comment…like oh em gee, can I be her friend!?)
Carolina!!!!! “I feel like I’m Stevie Wonders with all the head shaking that article is making me do.” I died!
Steph, Steph, Steph! Holy macaroni! If I ever get into a b-tch fight with anyone…I want you on my side! You make valid points in a cool, clear manner! This is truly a skill and one that I lack! I’ve had added you to my Rolodex under “Go-to-person for scathing letters to overly entitled people”
I got your back, girl 😉 But I’m not nearly as “articulate” in person. I usually just stutter and use a lot of curse words until I can get my thoughts together 😉
Dyanne @ I Want Backsies says
I saw her on the Today show, and as the mom of a high school senior, what kept running through MY mind was that her folks sure dropped a bundle on application fees alone. I’m sure whatever schools DO except her will be thrilled with her proclamation that they were NOT her first choice. And what a nice message she delivers: set your sights high and blame everyone else when you don’t succeed. GAHHHHHHH!!! My son will be attending a state university this fall (on a full academic ride, if I may boast) and plans to become an interventional cardiologist. I hope Suzy (and her like) checks the credentials of all professionals to make sure they don’t have just a state university pedigree. Oh, the humanity….
Dyanne, most importantly, CONGRATS to you and your son!! That’s a load off of the personal finances and something to be proud of for sure!
And seriously, Suz doesn’t understand that we get out of life what we put into it. And if Karma holds true, she’ll be receiving seething rejection letters from even state schools. Mwahahahaha!
Thanks for reading and commenting, lady! Hope your kiddo enjoys the rest of his senior year! Such an exciting time <3
I’m sorry but I have to disagree with you all. While I would not have said it the way she did, (or rather, written it) you are not a high school senior. You don’t know what it’s like these days. I’m sorry but she’s right. It doesn’t matter how hard you work, if you’re middle class, and just like Suzy Weiss, there’s a million of you. You may as well give up and not bother applying. You’re not specialy if you’re not checking of that ethnicity. You’re not part of a quit that needs to be filled. So they don’t need to look at you too hard.
And as for your comment about her safety school seeing they went her first choice, don’t play stupid. Anyone who applys to a Ivy League school has it as their first choice.
Excuse my typos, the keyboard sticks
Monica, you’re certainly entitled to your opinion, and we can agree to disagree. Thanks for reading!
Orson Zedd says
So I’m just a poor English graduate from Mississippi recovering from depression, and I don’t know shit about shit, because I certainly didn’t know GPAs went above 4, and I’m still not sure what an SAT is, but what’s the problem with going to a state college? I loved it!
Another poor English grad?! You’re welcome here any time, Orson 😉
I dont think there’s neccisarily anything wrong with it, I dont think that’s what she was saying. My dream school was a state school, but I still understand why she’s upset.
Hi, Monica! I don’t recall Suzy saying anything about state schools; that was a rant from me. I understand why she’s upset, too, but the way she handled it was a bit over the top. We’ve all dealt with rejection; how many of us went on national television to complain about it?!
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straight guy says
Thanks for finally writing about >An Open Letter to Suzy Weiss, Bitter High
School Brat – WhenCrazyMeetsExhaustion <Liked it!
My Special Kind of Crazy says
She’s entitled to her opinion, which in and of itself could have merit. No idea. But someone needs to get this girl a dictionary and highlight the word “satire”. Stating you would “wear a headdress” or “come out of a closet” to get into a school is, basically, saying that those 2 groups are… lesser than yours.
Also, my 5 year old is getting lessons in the whole, “it’s not fair!” mentality. Life isn’t made up of fair. Life is made up of circumstances and incidents often of which you have no control over. Always losing a game isn’t about “fair”, it’s about skill, talent and, sometimes, luck. Always crying, “it’s not fair!” isn’t going to get you anywhere. The result you get may suck, but what you do with your sucky situation is solely up to you. Claiming that minorities are responsible for you not getting into school, and then very publicly voicing that claim in an offensive manner is quite the view into one’s character.
Chris Hayday says
As an affluent white male, I’m a little offended that this girl thinks she’s entitled to the perks of life that are traditionally reserved for people like me.
THIS would be a better example of satire, Ms. Weiss.
On a more serious note, I do understand why she would be upset with her rejections as she is a great candidate by many metrics. Unfortunately for her, being smart is not always enough. Methinks this may be one of those rare times when things didn’t go for her the way she thought they would (aka: I usually get what I want because, well, because I do, yeah me!) and perhaps we should cut her some slack as she appears ill-prepared to deal with failure and rejection.
It should also be pointed out that she is correct in her assertion that her rejection is based largely on things that are beyond her control. Whether or not this is fair or right is irrelevant, as admissions boards make their decisions on a lot of factors that have nothing to do with intelligence. Ironically, she doesn’t seem to understand that these decisions are based upon things she can’t control. Her comments make it seem like she thought her admission was a sure thing because she did well on a test, a test that has been shown to have great socio-economic bias, which is beyond anyones control.
She is entitled to the dream that hard work and success in high school will translate to the reward of a good college and success later in life. I preach this daily to my own two children as well as to my few hundred semi-adoptive children; I’m a high school teacher. She did well in high school and expected to be rewarded with an Ivy League education, but this dream fizzled out so she is entitled to throw herself a pity party. I won’t fault her for that. It’s okay to be mad, but she seems to have forgotten the fact that there are, literally, thousands of colleges and universities who will gladly accept her and offer her scholarships to attend their institutions. She needs to remember that her life is not over, it’s just taking a little detour. What is most disappointing about her is she seems oblivious to the fact that she has lots and lots of options still available to her.
Her biggest mistake was taking this thing public and trying to make herself a martyr. She only succeeded in making herself look like a whiny little shit for whom we should feel sorry because she didn’t get her way. Life is unfair sometimes, and it’s got nothing to do with nothing.
Dried-on Milk says
AWWWWEEEESOOOOOME. I had a very hard time picking my jaw up off the floor after I read her “satirical” letter. You, my dear friend, TOLD HER!
Just Your Average White Chick says
Are you kidding me! Her article may have been sarcastically written but how does anyone say that the topic is not valid? Blatant discrimination in the college acceptance process is openly practiced and is even being written in to laws as an accepted practice. How can you argue that discrimination against a minority is wrong but because it is done to a middle class white girl it is just fine and she is just an entitled brat. Hypocrisy at it’s finest!
Stephanie Jankowski says
The topic is valid; the larger issue was the way she handled it, as I pointed out numerous times in what I wrote.
Lynne Emerson says
Love this! But here is one obvious point no one is making, if they Ivy Leagues are discriminating against the “white, bland, etc” , explain all the boring white, bland students at the Ivy Leaugues. They are there, she’s just not one of them for apparently reasons we’ll never know. Perhaps Suzy, you just don’t interview well for colleges. They do take a great deal more into account than GPA, SAT’s and race. They DO look at what type of person you are. How “well rounded” you are. I don’t think Suzy scores well in those areas.
Stephanie Jankowski says
And those white (largely) males have been there since the schools’ inceptions. There may be extenuating circumstances that we don’t know about–sure, maybe Suzy was discriminated against as the reader above says, but more than likely, there was another person who was a better fit for the school. Choosing a Black male who has done more volunteering but doesn’t have as high an SAT score as white Suzy is not discrimination!