I Wanna Feel Done

8 years

Yesterday, the husband and I celebrated 8 years of wedded bliss. Every July 29, I bug him to pose for The Anniversary Picture that proves we still like each other:   In years past, we’ve held a sign that reads how many years we’ve been married, but 2014 worked out that the ages of the older kids (5 Keep reading…

Balancing Love & Discipline with MomAssembly

The Many Faces of Ella.WCME

Years ago, my nightstand was home to an array of lip glosses, novels that substituted for reality as long as I continued to turn the pages, notes about upcoming lesson plans, and a framed picture of yours truly and my soon-to-be-husband. Almost ten years later, my nightstand is hidden beneath a cluttered stack of parenting books. And one Keep reading…

Help Baby Feel Better With Essential Oils

Treat common baby illnesses with essential oils WhenCrazyMeetsExhaustion.com

Have you noticed how babies can’t talk? Yeah, it can be pretty frustrating. Me: Why are you crying?! Baby: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Me: What do you want?! Baby: AHHHHHHHHHHH! I mean, come on manners. Thankfully I have about 148 books on babies and how to parent them, and according to the experts, my 3-month-old may get teeth Keep reading…

To My Baby Brother, On His 30th Birthday

30 Reasons to have a rockin' 30th birthday

Hellooooo, Michael! You keep telling me to stop writing about my lady bits and birth stuff, and write about you because, like a typical man, you enjoy being fussed over. So, here it is. Your very own post on your very special day. The day you don’t want to celebrate but I’m making a huge Keep reading…

Parents, Stop Using Labels As Scapegoats

Quit using labels as scapegoats!

“Do you think she has a…problem?” My husband asked this about our three-year-old because, recently, she has become really stellar at looking us square in the face and completely ignoring the words coming out of our mouths. I’ve noticed she normally utilizes this tactic when asked to do something. Namely, something she doesn’t want to do. This child is the Keep reading…

Confession: I Use Essential Oils

doTERRA oils

Before I introduce you to my inner hippie, let me preface this with a disclaimer that will hopefully break a few stereotypes out there: I shave my armpits. I drive an SUV. I do not have 17 children, 3 sister wives, or live on a commune. Though, some days, that sounds pretty rad. Why do Keep reading…

Once Upon A Time, I Was a Step Team Coach

One regret that lingers from my high school days is that I didn’t embarrass myself more often. Not, like, slip on spilled milk in the cafeteria and fall on my face embarrass. But the kind of invigorating embarrassment that comes from stepping outside of your comfort zone. Of taking a risk. Of allowing all inhibitions to fall by Keep reading…

Water THIS

Don't rely on that cute pink bucket in the back to hold your cellphone...

“I participated in a campaign on behalf of Mom Central Consulting (#MC) for Sprint. I received a product sample to facilitate my review and to thank me for participating.”   ‘Twas the night before the Fourth, In July of last year. But the memory so fresh; The image so clear.

A Very Professional Interview with Johanna Stein, Author of How Not To Calm A Child On a Plane

Johanna Stein: "Life of Mom", a web-series that I did for Yahoo! (http://jojostein.com/video/life-of-mom-how-to-guide-your-future-teen/).

Vomit-covered hands. Dead body discovery. Foul-mouthed, pot-smoking parents (well, mostly Dad). A smuggled placenta. What’s this, you ask? The next episode of Pretty Little Liars? (Does that reference work here? ‘Cause I’ve truthfully never seen the show and had to Google “popular TV series” in the name of a relevant comparison. How’d I do? I shoulda Keep reading…

The 10 People You Meet In the Hospital

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If you’re new ’round these parts, you may not know that I recently expelled a tiny human from my loins. Baby Girl, mine and the husband’s third creation, joined our family in April, but not before an interesting hospital stay. I am somewhat of a self-proclaimed expert on hospital stays, having had a few babies Keep reading…

Kindermint Saves & Makes You Money

Kindermint

I often joke that my husband is Hitler with a spreadsheet when it comes to managing our family budget. (Can I call him that without being offensive? I never know.) I once found $20 in my coat pocket and he made us put it in the savings for “safe keeping.” Okay, that’s not true, but Keep reading…

Why I Put My Husband (and Sometimes Myself) Before My Kids

Priority

Before I had my own babies, I envisioned the kind of mother I would be: some Carol Brady mixed with Claire from Modern Family and a pinch of Married with Children’s Peg Bundy just for fun. I could never pull off June Cleaver; it’s just not in my DNA to make dinner from scratch every night. And I knew I wouldn’t Keep reading…

A Distraction Is Not An Accident

Pay attention, Grammy!

“I trust you, just not the other drivers on the road.” Even though I got my license about 106 years ago, after failing the permit test once don’t judge me, my dad’s words are still bouncing around in my brain. Since the day my fat head was printed on a little plastic card, my parents Keep reading…

I’m Cheating On My Computer With My Loose-Leaf Notebook

There’s this fun thing going on each Monday with some of the pals in my computer; we’re talking about our writing processes. It’s a blog tour about writing, people! SWOON! As an English teacher, I’ve taught the writing process several times: pre-write, draft, revise, etc. It was always very mechanical (English dork pun right there), Keep reading…

Disney Told My Kids to Kill Me

I overheard my 3 y/o daughter say: "Let's play pretend! You can be the Daddy and I'll be the baby because the Mommy died." And I totally blame Disney

The kids were playing so nicely. No one was using the other as a balance beam, no one was arguing over the “not broken” pretzel. The baby, nursing contentedly, clung to the soft fabric of my shirt with one of her chubby hands. She graced me with a quick toothless grin before succumbing to sleep. Keep reading…

Say CHEESE!

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“I participated in an Influencer Activation on behalf of Mom Central Consulting for Arla Dofino. I received product samples to facilitate my review as well as a promotional item to thank me for my participation.” The other day I overheard my son asking my husband why “Mom has a fat face.” After retrieving the knife from my Keep reading…

10 Things I Will (or Won’t) Do For My Husband This Father’s Day

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I often rely on my writing to take attention away from the fact that I am the world’s worst gift giver. I’m the one who buys you a sweater in July, but the sweet words in your card totally make up for it. Unless you’re my husband. The crap I buy him is usually soooo Keep reading…

Here, Have a Free Vacation. Really.

Columbus Zoo Manatee

Dimpled knees and chubby hands. Sweet smiles and coos. Snuggles and soft sighs. Babies. I’ll pause for a collective awwww… Done?

One Teacher’s Sixth Sense: I See Dead Dogs

My classroom mascot, defiled.

I was teaching Homer’s “The Odyssey” in my sophomore English class: the epic poem that can also be an epic fail because of all the weird sex stuff and because sophomores. But my team teacher and I were killing it, no pun intended, when something outside caught my attention. A lump half buried in the thawing Keep reading…

That Kind of Teacher

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My first teaching gig wasn’t easy. The first year was especially daunting what with a boy being thrown through the glass of my classroom door and all. I huddled around the “haters” (teachers who hated their jobs and, clearly, our students) in the Faculty Lounge, contributing to the bitch sessions every now and again, but Keep reading…