If you’re a fellow SNL groupie, you remember the epic “Cowbell” skit with Will Farrell’s gut and Christopher Walken. If not, let me break you off a small piece of this:
Hilarious, right?! Unfortunately, the cowbell can’t cure my fever. And no, I am definitely not talking about Bieber Fever. What is up with those ill-placed tattoos and the way he wears his hat like it’s an upside down sauce pot? He’s one two-step away from making his own porn.
Anyway, the fever I’m talking about is BABY FEVER. This isn’t the first time I’ve been struck with it; remember this?
As if I’m not obsessing about it enough, babies are ev.ery.where. Facebook pictures, real-life friends, commercials, my dreams have been reminding me of the family of 5 I’ve wanted since I was old enough to make Barbie and Ken have the sex. I’ve got it all figured out, really…
I know I want another boy because that would erase the “Middle Child Syndrome” of which I am so terrified. Ella was not meant to be a middle child; the consequences could be dire. Yet I’m still willing to roll the dice. I know what the pregnancy announcement will look like; I know how I want to share the exciting news with those closest to us; I’ve perfected the birth announcement, complete with names for either a boy or girl. I have visions of sugar plums and this must-have photo dancing in my deranged mind:
In 40 years, when I’m sixty……., I want my kids and their kids on all sides of me, turning me into a veritable island o’ grandma. We’ll gather for Christmas, Thanksgiving, birthdays! I’ll babysit and they’ll love me because I make stories jump off of the page, bake the yummiest cookies, and let them stay up a little later than their mom and dad. I’ll be able to give them my undivided attention because I’ll have been retired since forever, and I’ll also be able to give them back to their parents when they’re annoying. And it will be glorious!
Except that to accomplish all that jazz, I have to create, grow, birth, and raise a third kid.
Can I handle it?
My husband claims his sperm is like Cinderella’s chariot; there is a definite expiration date and it’s when he turns 35. He is currently 34, so…
Is it go time?
We understand a third could be a game-changer. Will the grandparents still give us a rare date night and watch all THREE kids? If we win a trip to Disney Land by calling into our local radio station, will we have to purchase a fifth ticket or leave one of the ankle-biters behind?! Isn’t the world just made to accommodate families of four, 2 adults, 2 kids? Roller coasters, double-strollers, most cars only have room for FOUR. Should that sway me?
But I like to name things. I don’t worry about money because that would force me to be realistic and that’s a downer. All I know is that there were, like, 7 kids to a family during the Great Depression, so we can afford a third, right?! We have the room and I’m young enough that I still have the energy. If the girl is 3, the boy is 5, and the baby is a newborn, I’ll hypothetically only have one kid in diapers, yes? So this should be a no-brainer.
Have I convinced you yet?
I miss being pregnant and I just don’t feel…done. Does that make sense? This whole post is a rambling session; NONE of it probably makes sense! Five minutes after I had Ella, I looked at my husband and said, “I can do this again.” That means something, right?!
I guess I just need someone to make up my mind for me. The husband’s, too. We’re on the fence these days, but words from a dear friend keep forcing their way into the forefront of my mind: You may regret not having another, but you will never regret having another.
She may have been drinking when she shared that. I don’t know.
Christine at More Than Mommies says
It makes 100% complete sense. I always wanted, imagined, and envisioned four and even though my husband was happy with two, I was able to convince him twice more to make my dreams a reality. The transition from two to three was the EASIEST kid related transition. I think if you were finished you would feel finished. I feel finished. Even though I love to see, hold, ooh and aaah over newborns and babes, my womb no longer aches… I have a feeling of nostalgia over newborn-dom and a feeling of sadness that time is marching on…but the ache is not there like it was before I felt finished. So go for it and good luck!
I love that you understand the feeling of being “finished!” My husband just looks at me like I’m crazy when I try to explain it! So, now all I need is you to convince my hubs the way you convinced yours–TWICE! You’re a miracle worker, woman!!! Tell me your secret!
Christine at More Than Mommies says
The secret is to get them when they are vulnerable. I mean I worked on him throughout the day with casual hints but right before we would do it I would get that lovey look in my eye and just say “let’s have another baby” and he would say something like “well…maybe we will try this one time and if it happens, it happens” and because we have been blessed with the fertility of a rabbit one try always did the trick.
I’m dying!! We’re pretty lucky in the fertility department, too, so I’m trying that! Thanks, Christine 🙂
So….that would be the exact same age differences as my kids! Too bad you lived so far away I would definitely have you over for the full experience! My husband is a huge Steelers fan so perhaps we will travel out there someday for a game and we’ll drop the kids off at your house. In all actuality it wouldn’t be the full experience because kids always act better for strangers than they do for their parents. I say go for it…we can be equally crazy together!
DO IT!!!!! You tell me when you’re in the city and we’ll hook up! Drop the kids for a playdate, go root for the Steelers like I know you REALLY want to, and then you and the hubs come back for dinner. P.S. We’ll be ordering pizza as I will have been with 6 children all day…
You’re right about the kids’ behavior, though; only mothers (and sometimes fathers!) get a real taste of their true colors. 😉
Go for it. Seriously. The third child, whether boy or girl, will be yet another light to your day and make your heart brim with pride and love even a little more than you ever thought possible. I’m outnumbered 1 to 3 on an almost daily basis 24 hours a day, total chaos and I think the house mess and clutter will eat me alive one day, and I wouldn’t change it for a second. I completely agree with the you will never regret having another child! Happy Baby making, your decision is made! LOL
Oh, and I totally replied to your other post about this same topic too – and my words from then still stand:
Going from two to three kids was absolutely the hardest thing I have ever done. It was and always will be the most rewarding thing. I have always wanted three and know I would regret it if we hadn’t. It is very hard but entirely worth it, in my opinion…even if I often want to take the bridge!! I highly recommend a bigger age gap though!!
“Happy Baby making!” Ahaha! I think of you all the time when I consider the third, Kris! Thanks for commenting…again! 🙂 🙂
Deb (Urban Moo Cow) says
Ha! Awesome. I mean, if you want another one and can handle being pregnant again, more power to you! (ps – I’m also 5 yrs older than my husband 🙂 )
You’re a smart gal to marry a younger man! If I have to hear about my husband’s “aging” parts one more time, I’m printing out pictures of uteruses (uteri?) and pasting them all over the house.
Sigh, the never ending discussion in our house (as you know). I wish I had an answer for you and me!
Big A is on board though, right?! Then again, he’s not at home with them all day… 😉
Jill Pinnella Corso says
Omgeeee! You know how I know I’m NOT ready to have my first kid? This post makes me break out in a nervous sweat. Good luck though. No matter what you decide, your life will be great. “There’s nowhere you can be that isn’t where you’re meant to be,” right?
Side note- your site is looking super nice. I’m jealous you mastered self-hosting so quickly while I’m still accidentally crashing my site with some regularity.
Ooops–sorry about making you sweat. Your post made me spit today, so we’re even 🙂
THANK YOU for the compliment about the site. I had NOTHING to do with it 🙂 A fellow blogger is also a website design guru and she helped. If you give her $30 and an hour, she’ll spruce anything up!
Not gonna lie. Three is H-A-R-D. Mine are 8, 7, and 2. Yep, the 2yo was a surprise. When I walked in the room and said to my husband, “Do you want a girl baby or a boy baby?”, he replied, “NEITHER!” And when I told him it was going to happen whether he like it or not, he melted into the chair he was sitting in and wailed, “I’M SO TIRED!” This third boy baby (yes, all boys), is an absolute pleasure and I enjoyed having a baby again so very much. It is harder with three because the older ones need help with school and sports, but the 2yo is up in their grill constantly because he loves them so much. So, if the older ones have ADHD, you’re hosed like me. Who wouldn’t want to play with this adorable, funny little person who loves you instead of homework?!
Your honesty and perspective is MUCH appreciated!! That’s quite an age gap, definitely opposite of what you were used to with a 1-year gap between the first! I love that you said the little one is up in their grill–made me snort! Hahaha!!!! Good luck with your 3 boys and the homework, and thank you for commenting 🙂
Piper George says
I am a third child, and the only girl so was always left out by the older brothers, but then my other brother has middle child syndrome of being ignored. The oldest is such a worrier, always having been told to look after us. Lol. Labels!
If you want em, go for em. The only hold back is affordability!
I always wanted an even number, and couldn’t fit 4 in my car, so we are stopping at 2 ! But I do get the urge for another 2, so does Mr G.
Since my 6 year old told me this evening her dad was the bestest dad in the world, but her mum was mean for making her do homework, I think I am done. I can’t have 3 kids hating me by the time they are 9.
Hmmmm Piper, these are some things I hadn’t considered. Thanks for the insight!! And I think your daughter will come around 😉 Although right now both kids like me better than my husband, so I don’t speak from experience. Yet.
To echo what your dear friend said, “you will never regret having another.” The fact that you’re even entertaining the idea, is probably a good sign. You and you’re husband are both young and have plenty of love to give. My husband wanted a third but life took over and I think I missed my window. I’m closer to forty than thirty.
My advice, for what it’s worth, is to just to relax and let love rule. Lenny Kravitz anyone? Don’t hold back girl!
“Let love rule.” Is there really anything else to be said?!
Thanks, Anka 😉