We all have that one facial feature we’d like to change, or a body qualm that, try as we might, we just can’t come to terms with. Some of us, like myself, would like to decrease the amount of junk in her trunk. Others would rather–ahem–augment. Today’s Oversharer is no different; Amanda dreams of the day her cup(s) runneth over, but until then, she at least has a pretty entertaining story!
Two days ago, my husband surprised the kids and me with a little getaway to Great Wolf Lodge. It was a sweet time, just the four of us making memories. One memory, however, I’d like to erase:
I’m wading through a very crowded swimming pool area, making my way to my husband on the far side. I notice him eyeing me with a smirk on his face. I smirk back, finally at his side, and say, “What are you looking at!?”
“Um. Honey. There’s a pad hanging out of your top.”
I look down to see the large pillow-like pad sticking out. Not just peeking out. Like, hanging WAY OUT. Like, screaming: HEY EVERYBODY! LOOK AT ME! AND MY GREAT BIG PADS!
On that note, I’ve got the perfect TMI moment. (No the GREAT BIG PADS story wasn’t the moment.) You’ve been given some important inside info (clearly if I’m putting GREAT BIG PADS in my bathing suit, you can make some assumptions about my “natural womanly figure”). Just tuck that bit of info in the back of your mind for now…
I’m delighted when my friend Betty asks me to join her on a Young Life weekend. I’ll be there to take care of her two little boys while she leads a group of high school girls. At night, Betty will sleep with her nursing baby in one room, and I’ll share the big bed in the other room with Tyler, her two-year-old.
The first night, Betty tucks Tyler into bed and then leaves to hang out with her group of high school girls. After I get the baby settled in the other room, I sneak into bed with Tyler, careful not to wake him.
Early the next morning, I hear Tyler stirring on the other side of the bed. I mean really early. As in, the-room-is-still-pitch-
I am so not ready to get up, so I lay flat on my back, completely still, and pretend I’m still asleep.
Tyler continues to stir, and then I hear his little 2-year-old voice whisper, “Mommy? Mommy. I want strawberries. Mommy.”
Clearly he thinks his mom is the one in bed with him. I tell myself that if I just lay still enough there in the dark, he’ll give up and go back to sleep.
His persistent little voice rises in the dark – “Mommy. Mommy, I want strawberries.”
Still, I lay there. Tyler flops over to my side of the bed and feels for his mother with an outstretched arm. His hand lands squarely on my chest.
He is quiet for a moment. And then, I hear his voice again.
When she’s not publicly oversharing, Amanda Uher can be found mothering, mildly misbehaving, and making life matter. Sometimes she gets things right. Sometimes she crashes and burns. It usually makes for some good stories along the way. Find her at her blog, All The Little Pieces, Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.
Vicki Lesage says
I feel bad laughing but that was hilarious! Don’t worry, I’m in the same club 🙂
Stephanie Jankowski says
I, too, belong to this club. My favorite part is that it wasn’t even HER kid! Bwahahaha!!
Oh my word my tummy hurts from laughing and trying to keep it in, cuz once again I’m reading this at the office. I tell you, Tuesdays are my favourite in these parts!
Omg, I haven’t laughed this hard in a long time.