Unless you’re new ’round these parts (or have purposely been ignoring me because you’re sick of hearing about pregnancy, et. al., in which case, I can’t blame you), you know I’ve just birthed my third adorable bundle of baby. One may think that makes me a “pro parent.” I say Bwahahahahaha to that nonsense! I’ve made mistakes and committed a parenting faux pas or two (or 200) since being inducted into Motherhood in 2009, but I am proud to say I have picked myself up, dusted myself off, and continued digging baby poop out from underneath my fingernails.
Oh, and learned. I’ve learned stuff, too. Namely:
What am I missing? What else shouldn’t Mamas do after they’ve given birth? Ride a horse. That’s a good one. Okay, your turn.
My Special Kind of Crazy says
Jump on a trampoline. You just don’t need the extra laundry. Sneezing is already helping you with that, no need to do anything further.
Stephanie Jankowski says
How could I forget this?! And I’m totally guilty of it, too. D’oh!
Ashley Tidwell says
Don’t laugh while naked.. No one likes it when it rains inside the bedroom……
USA Kiwi (Kylee) says
Never mention it out loud if your baby sleeps though the night, ever.
The baby will hear you, and will immediately stop the behavior.
Ashley Tidwell says
That applies to toddlers, too!! Just happened to me in the past 2 months or so.
Heather R says
Try to eat while your baby is sleeping. You’ll look over at their previously sleeping form, to see them giving you the side eye like they are going to cut you if you don’t put the food down. And then they will go back to sleep.
Amy - Funny Is Family says
It’s NOT chocolate! It’s never chocolate.
Kathy at kissing the frog says
Attempt to chase after her other children with no less than three sports bras holding her swollen breasts in place.
Chris Carter says
This is hilarious Stephanie!! I did the mirror thing the FIRST time and STILL have nightmares from seeing what I claim to be an entire bunch of grapes coming out of my ass. *Shudders*
Lady, you kill me! “Straddle your make-up mirror”?! DYING. xo