Oversharing: Mommy, What’s That Noise?

I love today’s Oversharing because it comes from a good Catholic girl. See? Jesus still loves you even if you Overshare. If you’re into it (Jesus or Oversharing), check out the Oversharing page on my blog for info and links to past stories. Could I write Oversharing any more? (Say that in your best Chandler Bing voice.) Okay, back to center: Janene offered the delicious nugget below for your reading pleasure–ENJOY!

OversharingPresents.Janene

I’m not typically an oversharer.

Wait.

I can hear Sister Marie Corde laughing up in heaven saying, “Janene, I knew every detail of every event that happened in your family from 6th to 8th grade.” So, maybe I am a recovering oversharer.

Normally, I try not to overshare too much on our blog, More Than Mommies.  This is for two reasons.

First, I worry about what Christine will think.  I worry that I will be misrepresenting “us” if I blog about something she doesn’t find as funny as I do, although, she’s got a great sense of humor so I’m probably worrying for nothing.

The second reason is that I’m a preschool teacher with coworkers, family members and student’s parents who read the blog at least on occasion.  I’m sure if I wrote a post about something inappropriate (which most overshares are) then they would all come out of the woodwork to comment to me IN PERSON – which is totally different that getting a comment on the actual post that is typed up.  I’m so much better responding to written words than the ones spoken to me.

All that being said, I figured I would JUMP at the chance to overshare on Stephanie’s blog because she already has plenty of inappropriate Google searches leading to her doorstep! (Editor’s note: I really do. What is wrong with you people? ~Steph)

So, here it goes.

I’ve recently been checking out the “Apps Gone Free” app on my iPhone.  Cool app.  Seriously, I love free apps and this one picks out apps that you would normally have to pay for but are free for a limited time.  The second day I was scrolling through the offerings, I came across an app that is supposed to record sounds as you sleep.  Sort of like one of those video cameras that turns on when something moves, this app turns the sound recorder on when there is noise.  I got the app so that I could hear myself snore.  Jerry has been complaining about my snoring for weeks and I figured it would be the best way for me to hear what the big deal was.  I snore quite loudly but that is not what this overshare is about.

The first night I turned it on right before we went to bed.  Then . . . I felt Jerry snuggle up behind me in a way that only means one thing.

We were totally going to do it. 

And why not?  The kids were all asleep and it was only 10:30!  We had the time and . . . well, we were in the mood.

The next morning, the kids and I decided to listen to what it recorded. I was listening to myself snore and For The Love of GOD!  What the hell?  Is that a cow giving birth?  Who was in our room making these . . . . wait.

Shit.

Do I really sound like that when I’m having sex?  I was mortified.  Jerry was highly amused.  I was mortified.  (Doubly so I can say it twice).

The children?  They were confused and wanted to listen to it again to see if they could figure it out.  Umm . . . opps . . . I must have accidentally hit the delete button…

I guess we will never know what that rhinoceros was doing chasing an orangutan in Mommy and Daddy’s bedroom.

I was mortified.

You will find Janene blogging with her partner in crime, Christine, over at More Than Mommies. She also writes about family life on her blog Perfecting Imperfection. You can hook up with (but not record) both ladies on Facebook and Twitter, too! 

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Comments

  1. Oh Janene! That’s so funny! I don’t think I’d want to know what I sound like doing that either. I hope you catch that rhino and orangutan soon so they won’t be making so much noise (actually I don’t, I think that rhinocerouses need to chase orangutans more often, at least in my house-our rhino is very very tired.);-)
    The Sadder But Wiser Girl recently posted…Are You SERIOUSLY Guest Posting Again??My Profile

  2. Seriously too damn funny and this is why I never let anyone record me during sex. I made it this far without doing it and thanks, but no thanks to that app, lol!! :)
    Janine Huldie recently posted…The Snow Birds Have Returned–Flashback WWMy Profile

  3. Thank you for saying I have a good sense of humor, Janene! (I didn’t pay her to say that). Humor writer I am not, but I definitely love to read stuff like this–so I am personally giving you the green light to have your way with our blog!
    Thanks Steph, for giving Janene a chance to show her stuff…ahem.
    Christine at More Than Mommies recently posted…My Dirty Little Secret: Coming Clean with Method #SweepstakesMy Profile

  4. I’m so glad I don’t have a smart phone! Good Lord that had to be mortifying and I’m sure your husband WAS amused. I think any man would be. Sheesh! But just so I’m clear – he’s the rhino right? Thanks for the laugh this morning because I needed it!!
    Mom Rants and Comfy Pants recently posted…But I Want Wiener Wraps and Tator TotsMy Profile

  5. That. is. hilarious.

    So good. And I don’t think I will be downloading that app. I have the Sleep Cycle app, which records your sleep cycle based on movement, so, yeah, I’m already paranoid enough about that.
    Jill Pinnella Corso recently posted…Not Everything Happens For A ReasonMy Profile

  6. This is absolutely HYSTERICAL!!!! Now, if we all share it- would that be a bad thing??!!! OMGOSH- classic oversharing!! Still laughing!!
    Chris Carter recently posted…Divorce: In defense of Ex-HusbandsMy Profile

  7. Of course a man would think it’s funny! OMG!!!! I would be done with it all together. Guess video is out? Hahaha!!
    Great post.. I see you in a whole new light now.

    -Ellen
    Bad Word Mama recently posted…Letting it all out!My Profile

  8. This might be the best one yet. In fact, Stephanie I think you need to create a contest JUST so this post can win an award. I don’t want to know anything about me during sex- sights, sounds, nothing! Oh my gosh that is hysterical!!
    Vicky
    Vicky recently posted…I’m an excellent driverMy Profile

  9. OMG, I’m dying! The whole recording in the bedroom thing has been discussed in our house. He’s into it, I’m not. All I can think about is that Friends episode where Ross and Rachel watch their video… “Oh my god, turn it off! Turn it off!!!”

    But let’s be honest. It’s not like the kids haven’t heard it before and wondered what it was… Something to think about next time. ;-)

  10. Oh how funny! I SO do not want to know what that sounds like . . . except, now I kinda do.
    Mr G and I did wonder once how much ‘noise’ could be heard throughout the house, so we took it in turn to jump about on the bed and make apprpriate level noises while the other stood in the guest room and . . . Yep, fairly certain my mum has heard everything we have to offer :(
    Piper George recently posted…A Chocolate Making ExperienceMy Profile

  11. Awwwwwww now you’ve got me intrigued… and I only have a crappy phone that doesn’t do apps. Where’s that dictaphone, I’m going to pounce on Mr G. In the name of research, you understand ;-)
    Mama G recently posted…Recipe – Chinese Chicken and Coleslaw wrapsMy Profile

  12. That will teach you- NEVER put recording devices anywhere near a bed. It’s OK in another room though.
    Cheryl Nicholl recently posted…Gardening to BreathMy Profile

  13. OMG I just snorted I was laughing so hard!

  14. that is AWESOME! who knew you were a budding documentary film-maker? too funny!
    Darcy Perdu recently posted…Um…Is She HITTING on Me?My Profile

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