While on Pinterest looking up safe for pets and kids all-natural window cleaner*, I came across pins about running, being a runner, couch to 5K running, Fun Runs, Color Me a Runner runs, You Run, I Run, EVERYONE RUN!
*Nutella recipes
Not interested, people. I’m here for vinegar-based cleanser** then I’m out.
**more Nutella recipes
Despite my recent attempts at living a healthier lifestyle***, I just can’t jump on the running bandwagon.
***a little Nutella never hurt anyone lay off
I’ve tried running…sort of. Ok, it’s not so much running as fast walking. Hey–at least I’m exercising right?! Maybe one day I’ll give real actual running a try, but until then, all I have are excuses…
10 Reasons I Don’t Run
1. A rabid animal is not chasing me. Therefore, why run?
2. My feet hurt and the last time I put plantar fascitis insoles in my shoes, I forgot to take out the original insoles and my heels literally kept flipping out of my shoes and I felt dumb.
3. I fall up the steps on a weekly basis, so I would probably kill myself if I ran.
4. I’ve yet to find my rhythm. And by rhythm, I mean if I can’t keep still enough to read a book while exercising, it’s just not for me.
5. I know of too many nipple chafing stories to expose myself to such madness.
6. I pee. There, I said it.
7. What’s the rush?
8. Running is trendy right now, and I am nothing if not the opposite of trendy. Non-modern? Un-stylish? Anti-hip? Yes, all of those things.
9. I’m all about that bass, no treble.
10. If I start running, I’ll lose all the weight that keeps me warm in the winter, and all of my friends will be like, “WHOA! You’re running? Who ARE you?” and they won’t recognize me and I’ll be sad because I’m friend-less and cold.
Are you a runner? Are you offended by this list? Stop it. I admire you and your sore knees, I really do, but not enough to lace up and take to the concrete. Also, do you need a blanket? Aren’t you cold?
Photo credit: darkmatter via photopin cc
I wouldn’t call myself a runner by any stretch…but I do run on occasion. I like the idea of being a runner… Marathon is on my bucket list but not something I’m rushing to do…I just like the idea of being able to drink a bunch of beers and big old juicy hamburger afterwards!
I am sitting here trying to come up with just one great reason to go running with my younger sister at the butt crack of dawn. I can only think of reasons not to. 1.) I am uncoordinated and I’d fall and scrape my knees…maybe even my elbows. 2.) Running should come with crowds of adoring fans. Why run with nobody there to cheer me on for being amazing? 3.) This is not a horror movie and there is no psycho killer chasing me. If there was, TRUST me, I would NOT be running through the woods in a sexy nightie and stilletos, I’d be Wilma Rudolph reincarnated. Soooo…I am with you. I guess I won’t be a runner just yet either. Great post as always!
Mentioned this very subject in my last post as to why I didn’t stay in the Marines longer than for years, but this is an appropriate place to repeat it . . . For one thing, there was a lot of running and if there is anything I hate more than running it would be “a lot of running”.
Love your blog! Glad them other crazy ladies I stalk pointed me in this direction.
Eric, I’m not sure who the other crazy ladies that pointed you to my blog are, but I like them.
Thanks for reading!! And not running.
I’m not running until the zombies come for me.
Even then, I may opt for a brisk walk.
I want to be a runner in the worst way, but not enough to actually run.
That’s about right.
Totally offended by this post. The only way I’ll ever get UN-offended is if you go for a run with me at BlogU15. Nipples be damned!! I’ll even bring a rabid animal for incentive!! PS….the PF stands for Pretty Fast.
I’ll run FROM you, deal? 😉
Running? PFttt. Chaffing thighs is also something I dread. Not gonna happen.
Chaffing. I forgot that one!
Ha! I am totally with you! I have gained a lot of weight over the last several months (unfortunately, I have to blame ti on age and sloth since I haven’t been pregnant in 7 years!). I have finally joined a gym, but I still don’t go early in the morning. I just love my sleep too much. And, I don’t run – ever.
Good for you for joining the gym!! Running or not, moving our bodies is most important. So the experts say. Whatever. 😉
I do it, but do not enjoy it for the sole reason I have to wear a diaper. Yes, a diaper. My son’s gift from child birth is poor bladder control, which, when I’m done with having kids, I’ll be getting surgery ( just wish they’d throw in a boob job for free).