Happy Friday, pals! I’m out of the office today, so one of my favorite bloggers (and people) offered to cover for me. She’s here all weekend answering phones and making you laugh; it’s the lovely Meredith from The Mom of the Year! She’s also in the hilarstical (new word, Merriam-Webster?) momthology I Just Want to Pee Alone. I’ve obviously left you in good hands.
I have a confession. I am scared, very scared of neon. This isn’t something I say lightly. At first, I didn’t even realize it was happening. I had innocently placed one of my obsessively regular orders to Carters, the mecca of young children’s clothing. The package arrived and I tore it open in the gleeful anticipation. What 24 mo. treasures had Carter’s delivered for my daughter? I ripped open the plastic bags with bated breathe, then promptly screamed in pain as the glaring hues permanently seared my eyeballs. What had happened? I ordered pink and received blinding horror. WHAT IS UP WITH THE NEON??
It would have been easy to assume that my fav clothing company had sold me out, or at least placed some color-blind chiquita in charge of design for the season, but then I started to see neon creeping up in other places at an alarming rate. We went for dinner; the pretween at the next table was rocking a fluorescent orange mini-skirt. I went to Target to quickly grab a new jacket; nothing but neon denim. Had the 80s officially made their re-debut and no one had told me?? Darn, I knew I was screwing myself by being too lazy to read my latest Star magazines…
The good news: this phase will likely pass before my children are old enough to select their own clothing. The bad news: Holy-heck-Almighty, pass me my sunglasses!
Until this phase passes, it is probably best that I avoid Gap like the plague. (My budget agrees with this.) Many people have fear of lovely, normal things, like spiders, or snakes or impending doom. I fear neon. Don’t get me wrong, I love me a good Wilson Phillips tune as much as the next gal, but the side pony-tails and their complimentary neon t-shirts are going to have to step aside because my retinas are limited, and let’s be honest–the hot colors are just hideously ugly.
Your adorable matching prints and/or pastels? OBSOLETE. It is time to go hideous or go home. If you can’t drink the Kool-Aid and rock your squint-worthy hues, join me hovering in fear in the corner. I have extra sunglasses–and the really good dark ones you can totally put over your regular glasses. We will hide out together and ride out the trend. Here’s to 2013 in all it’s 1980s glory.
Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, dedicatedly earning her title one epic parenting fail at a time. When her kids aren’t busy pummeling each other with legos or requiring their 16th sippy cup refill of the day, she tries to offer quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents of the world and all their empathizers. She remains entirely terrified by crafts, promises to never share any useful household tips, and is fully committed to a less serious look at the world of parenting. Social media is beyond her comprehension, but she makes a pass at Twitter and Facebook.
Anita @ Losing Austin says
I’m with you! No girls at home here, so at least I’m mostly spared from that argument.
Anita, you are a lucky, lucky duck! Though knowing the way things work in my world, my son will probably start begging me for neon sneaks or something!
haha it’s scary stuff out there! Stay safe meredith!!!! 😉
I’m keeping those sunglasses close, Jen! 😉
I’m keeping those sunglasses close, Jen! 😉
Chris Carter says
Oh man oh man oh man…. thanks for the warning Meredith!!! I haven’t seen the signs around here, and I will be SURE to get my “extra sunglasses–and the really good dark ones you can totally put over your regular glasses.” on so I am ready next time I go shopping!!!! Oh that is hilarious!! 🙂
Wait, I’m confused, Chris. Are there other types of sunglasses? The cool moms ONLY wear the ones that go over your regular glasses, right?? 😉
Oh, how funny. I remember the neon trend of the 80’s. I should have known neon was going to come back as soon as I saw leggings on the scene again. I may have to borrow those sunglasses!
Ack! How I have missed the leggings?! This very, very bad news, Ilene…!
I went to an 80’s party last summer and hurt my own eyes with my neon yellow shirt. I am happy to say that was the first and last time I will be wearing neon and I never buy it for my girls. I’m with you. It’s like the clothes are screaming, “LOOK AT ME!” “NOTICE ME!” With my unwashed hair and stained pants, I don’t need anyone to be looking or noticing me.
Exactly, AnnMarie! The chocolate stains smeared on my butt attract enough attention for me 😉 So wish I could have hit that 80s bash with you–how fun!
Dani Ryan says
“I ordered pink and received blinding horror. ” <<– Funniest line I've read in a LONG time!!!
I have an issue with neon, too. I did the 80s once, and I just don't find it fair that we have to relive it a second time, you know?
Oh, and I love love love Wilson Philipps!!! "Some day somebody's gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye!!!" <<– And now I want to watch Bridesmaids!!!
Right. So what we need to do is figure out a way to encapsulate the groovy parts of the 80s and leave all the neon crap behind. Who will decide what stays? Obviously, us, the Wilson-Phillips/Bridesmaids lovers.
I’m singing in Charlotte! Hooooold on for one more day!!!!!
Tiffany K says
Oh my gosh, I was just out buying shorts for the kids tonight, and said, outloud, “WHY IS EVERYTHING SO BRIGHT??!! Can I get a pastel, PLEASE!!” I hope this horrid trend passes quickly 😛
Tiffany, when pastels come back, we need to buy in bulk and stock up so we can ride out the next neon apocalypse more safely.
“I ordered pink and received blinding horror,” “It’s time to go hideous or go home…” Oh, Meredith, you have me ROLLING over here! Those lines are perfection!!
Shay, I’m so glad I have you laughing in the corner with me! This is scary stuff and we need to stick together to ride it out 🙂