Sometimes, the things I write are published on Bored Teachers. Like this piece, 5 unique ways teachers can earn PD hours. Other times, though, the things I write are too…what? Controversial? Over-the-top? Inappropriate? Whatever the word, sometimes the things I write don’t sit well with my Bored Teachers editors which means they don’t get published. That’s okay. I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. And fortunately, I have this little space to share all my nonsense.
Allow me to introduce you to some of that nonsense: this is the one where I complain about other professionals’ salaries slapping teachers’ pay in the face. And please note many of these discrepancies are between teachers and other “professionals.” I’m guessing Bored Teachers passed on it because they realized it’ll likely insult and piss off a bunch of people. It’s meant to be (mostly) read as a tongue in cheek piece, but we all know how the Internet reads. I’ll take my chances…
Let me preface my impending rant with this statement lest an angry e-mob come for me: I would never begrudge any hardworking human a well-deserved paycheck. Having said that, it is absolutely ri-donk-ulous that one-third of teachers can’t make ends meet on their salary while other real adults in this world are making serious bank for filming themselves playing hide-and-seek. When compared to the crippling stress, high stakes, and low pay that are synonymous with education, these “professionals'” salaries have me shaking my head like
Social Media Influencers
“Hey guys, it’s me. Today I wanna talk about how I’m making money hand over fist, and no one understands how. Not even me! Click the subscribe button so I can buy a Tesla!”
I’ll be the first to call me a hypocrite because yes, I do use my social media platforms to make money sometimes. The difference between me and these other influencers is that I still need my teaching job to pay the bills and stuff. Too many teachers need side gigs to stay above the poverty line, but betches peddling the latest and greatest who cares what on TikTok are building their dream home at age 22. IT’S FINE.
Professional athletes and teachers are basically the same: we’re both highly trained, mercilessly judged by people who can’t do what we do, and on any given day, the public either loves or hates us. Oh, and according to disgruntled taxpayers, we both only work half a year so give me your paycheck, Tom Brady, please and thank you.
On a serious note, imagine how much better the world would be if our country cared half as much about kids learning as it does about grown men throwing balls. Don’t get me started.
It’s not that I don’t appreciate the service of a good embalmer, I just think it’s unfair that they’re paid really well to work with people who can’t give them any back-talk or lame excuses. To level the playing field, I think teachers should be paid a monthly bonus based on how many times our students tell us to go f*ck ourselves or refuse to do their work.
Online Dating Ghostwriters
Yes, this is a thing. Ghostwriters can make, like, $25/hour to write someone else’s dating profile and I would like to know how exactly does this work? Do the writers interview the people using the app so they can pen the most accurate bio possible? Or do they just conjure up some swoon-worthy details and create better yet misleading versions of…ooookay. I’m beginning to understand how these apps go awry. At any rate, professional lie writers are earning more than a lot of teachers and ewww.
The average meteorologist’s salary far exceeds a teacher’s despite the public’s pervasive belief that weather reporters’ predictions are wrong at least half the time. Let me get this straight: a bunch of people don’t think weather reporters are good at their job and no one’s showing up in droves to lodge public complaints or writing scathing op-ed pieces about reporters, hoping to humiliate them or have them fired?! I don’t know what it’s like to live in that world.
This requires no further explanation.
Again, yes: this is a real job. There are people on this earth who get paid to lounge around the house and binge watch Netflix. Some of them are actually making close to $70,000 a year, while “lower-level taggers” rake in $500 for every 3 shows watched plus they get a pizza stipend! This is a personal affront. I don’t make this much and my job is to ensure kids earn diplomas! Oh, who am I kidding. I can’t even be mad; I’m just bitter and jealous at this point.
As I was reading about what different jobs pay, I came across voice-over artists. They make, like, $60/hour to just talk! They’re not instructing or teaching. No one is even on the other end of what they’re saying. They just say words and get paid for it. All day: they talk, no one listens. Isn’t that basically what a teacher does?
And a mom?
And a wife?
OMG I’m updating my LinkedIn profile immediately.