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Oversharing: Toddler-style

By Stephanie Jankowski 29 Comments

Remember how sick I was yesterday? Well, today I put on my “day clothes,” as my kids call them, and headed out to the boy’s preschool parent/teacher conference. [Insert merited applause here]. I prayed that I wouldn’t crap in my pants and would like to thank Baby Jesus for hearing me. #Success.

Until…

Teacher: I’m glad to hear you’re feeling better.
Me: Thank you! But how did you know…Oh no.

When he got home, I asked my blonde angel what, JUST WHAT, information had he bestowed upon his teacher. In a nutshell:

“Oh I just said that you were re-yee,Β re-yee (really) sick. You were pooping and it was stinky and Dad said, ‘Turn on the vent in that bathroom!’ And you were using Ella’s wipes because your bum hurt. And you vomited and it was gross–you didn’t even eat dinner with us.”

Just when I think I’m the queen of Oversharing, here comes this pint-sized punk to trump me. That’s okay, though; live it up buddy, mommy has pee-pee pictures she plans to show your prom date.

As an aside: I’m sitting in the bathtub as I type (unsafe but necessary, for obvious reasons…), and here comes the boy to interrupt. His initial reaction to finding me? “You know we don’t poop in the bathtub.”

Jerk.
Jerk.

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Filed Under: Family Stuff, Funny Stuff, Oversharing, Parenting

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Comments

  1. A different kind of hero says

    January 22, 2013 at 11:59 pm

    HA

    Reply
    • whencrazymeetsexhaustion says

      January 23, 2013 at 1:16 pm

      I figured you’d appreciate this!

      Reply
  2. The Sadder But Wiser Girl says

    January 23, 2013 at 3:00 am

    There are no secrets for my family with my two. No ma’am. My kids tell all. When I had my birthday, my son walked right into church and announced “My Mom is 38! Oh, it’s her birthday…” If I ever get deathly ill I’m sure all details will be shared with the world.

    I’m impressed he said vomit!

    Reply
    • whencrazymeetsexhaustion says

      January 23, 2013 at 1:13 pm

      Yeah, I should know better by now! My son’s aptitude for remembering and repeating things (hence the word vomit) really does leave me in a precarious situation πŸ™‚

      Reply
      • A different kind of hero says

        January 23, 2013 at 1:53 pm

        He gets that from his uncle!

        Reply
        • whencrazymeetsexhaustion says

          January 23, 2013 at 2:51 pm

          I’m pretty sure he gets the extensive vocabulary from his mother, but I’ll give you the memory part πŸ˜‰

          Reply
  3. motherhoodisanart says

    January 23, 2013 at 2:28 pm

    Oh no!! My son is the oversharer in our family. If there is anything I remotely think he might share and I don’t want him to share with his class I tell him “let’s keep this to ourselves.” I then worry that he is going to class saying “Mommy wants me to keep what happened last night a secret.” It’s truly a no win situation!!!

    Reply
    • whencrazymeetsexhaustion says

      January 23, 2013 at 2:52 pm

      My Mother-in-Law used to tell my husband and his brother, “This doesn’t leave the table, okay?” when they discussed personal things. It always worked for them; maybe I should try that?! But you’re right: the next announcement would just be: I CAN’T TALK ABOUT THIS BECAUSE IT CAN’T LEAVE THE TABLE. Yoi πŸ™‚

      Reply
  4. nothingbythebook says

    January 23, 2013 at 4:34 pm

    This is one of those posts where I’m always reluctant to click “like”–cause, you know, I don’t want you to think I *like* that you’ve been sick… πŸ˜› I remember having to coach my kids to when they started getting into answering the telephone to just say “Mom can’t come to the phone right now” instead of explaining in detail that Mom was vomiting, pooping, or my favourite: “still naked and wet from the shower and doesn’t want to talk to you yet.”

    Reply
    • whencrazymeetsexhaustion says

      January 23, 2013 at 7:41 pm

      Ahahahaha!! “Like” away because I promise to always take pleasure in your kids embarrassing you, too πŸ˜‰ It’s like a Mama’s Oath or something: I swear to find the humor whilst being responsible for sustaining a small person’s life…

      Reply
  5. Anka says

    January 23, 2013 at 5:16 pm

    Your angel is absolutely right! We don’t poop in the bathtub. Don’t you just LOVE how children put us in our place during the most inopportune moments? Hope you’re feeling better my dear!

    Reply
    • whencrazymeetsexhaustion says

      January 23, 2013 at 7:41 pm

      Thanks, lady!! πŸ˜‰

      Reply
  6. dirtyrottenparenting says

    January 23, 2013 at 7:17 pm

    I’m sure your son’s teacher has heard it all! The only danger now is if they’ll write a book about the stuff kids tell them… it’s what I would do!

    Reply
    • whencrazymeetsexhaustion says

      January 23, 2013 at 7:43 pm

      I’ve been teaching for years and my colleagues and I always say we’re penning that book. I think we REALLY should!!!

      Reply
      • dirtyrottenparenting says

        January 23, 2013 at 9:15 pm

        I’d buy it!

        Reply
  7. Mama G says

    January 23, 2013 at 9:13 pm

    Love it!!!! Hope you feel better by today πŸ™‚

    My son told his physio (in front of me) ‘My Mummy does really massive farts. Bigger than Daddy’s. And they smell.’ I sank down into the chair, cringing. My husband was shaking with silent laughter πŸ™

    Kids…

    Reply
    • whencrazymeetsexhaustion says

      January 23, 2013 at 9:46 pm

      I mean, you know I laughed at that, too, right?? πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ I’m definitely feeling better now!!!

      Reply
      • Mama G says

        January 23, 2013 at 10:17 pm

        Oh, thanks for that! I couldn’t believe it. It happened so quickly that the panic didn’t even set in at the words ‘My Mummy…’ And the Physio was a really stuck up, snobby woman who was so uptight she was probably incapable of breaking wind herself. She just looked at me, deadpan, and said ‘Oh, does she now?’ πŸ™

        Reply
        • whencrazymeetsexhaustion says

          January 23, 2013 at 11:16 pm

          WHAT?! She didn’t even laugh? I’m sorry, but anyone who doesn’t at least giggle at farts is dead inside.

          Reply
  8. Jill Pinnella Corso says

    January 24, 2013 at 4:42 pm

    Lol! You’ve got to be kidding me. That is better than fiction. All of the above. Love.

    Reply
    • whencrazymeetsexhaustion says

      January 24, 2013 at 6:10 pm

      I would not, could not make this stuff up. But I can, apparently, write like Dr. Seuss…

      Reply
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  14. Jessie says

    October 20, 2013 at 11:15 pm

    I’m 19 weeks pregnant today. And when I was about 8-9 weeks I finally got 1 good night of sleep, the first in 5 weeks. I didn’t know I had to pee so I peed the bed. My almost 4yr old still brings that up when I tell him not to pee the bed bc he’s training at night now. He also made it his mission to tell everybody he knows the next day. I’m not ashamed though, I got really good sleep that night and I’m pregnant, so it’s justified. Lmfao… kids.

    Reply
    • Stephanie Jankowski says

      October 21, 2013 at 1:45 pm

      Right?! WHY were we so excited for them to talk?! πŸ˜‰

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. Kids embarrass parents says:
    October 8, 2014 at 11:21 am

    […] couple of years ago, my son offered a story ofΒ my, uh, bathroom mishaps to his preschool teacher. The woman was too kind to tell me everything he said, but as I know his detail-oriented nature, I […]

    Reply

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