The other night, I was reading a book from the My First Time series to my kids. Authors Petty, Kopper, and Pipe put out some really great books that help acclimate kiddos to the various changes happening in their young lives. Our book of choice was The New Baby. Granted, my April due date isn’t exactly around the corner, but my husband and son were so excited when they returned from the library with the book that we had to sit and read it NOW.
On a completely unrelated note, the husband also found Jerry Seinfeld’s Halloween at the library, and my kids can now pick Mr. Seinfeld out of a lineup. They have been requesting Seinfeld over the Berenstain Bears for their nighttime TV. I don’t know whether to be proud of or worried about that.
Anyhoo, my observations after reading The New Baby with my 4 and 2-year-olds:
1. My children are SUPER excited for their baby brother or sister. I hope that excitement lasts.
2. Much to the girl’s dismay, we will not be naming her could-be-sister Princess Poopy Pants.
3. The kids can’t wait until my belly gets so big that they don’t fit on my lap any more. They either don’t like snuggling with me and this is their out, or they just don’t believe that I will get “even bigger.” Can’t wait to see the look on their faces when I can balance my cereal bowl on my belly. Awesome.
4. This book started The Conversation with my son.
The boy was enthralled throughout the reading, taking in every word, eyes pouring over each picture.
Him: I can’t WAIT for this baby to get here!!
Me: I love that you’re excited! I think you’re going to be the best big brother to TWO siblings!
He’s so proud. We settle in for prayers and at the end, we always say a special prayer for someone who could use it. This night, he chose “our” baby.
Him: I hope that everything is going nicely in there.
Yes, he said “nicely.” Boom. #EnglishTeacherWin
And then:
Him: How is that baby getting out ?
Me, knowing it won’t sate his curiosity: I’ll deliver it.
Him: What does that mean?
Me: Remember how we talked about boys and girls having different parts?
Him: Yeah. Girls have ‘ginas.
HE SAID ‘GINAS! And I can’t even laugh because Motherhood is unfair.
Me (stifling giggles): Vaginas. And you’re right, we do. The baby will come out of my vagina.
He quietly ponders this. His blue eyes fixed on my bump. And then…
Him: How did it get in there?
Me: You remember that sunflower you planted last year in school? It was a seed at first and then grew into a biiiiig flower. That’s how it works with babies. There was a seed in my belly, and it’s growing into a whole baby.
Him: Is that why you drink so much water?
Me, openly laughing now: Yep!
Him: Sooo…did you put the seed up your nose? Did you put it up your vagina? Did you EAT it?!
I see the look of horror on his face as he realizes he put sunflower seeds on his salad tonight at dinner.
Me: Um, no. Daddy planted the seed and I will grow it. By the way, only ladies can have babies.
He relaxes. And doesn’t ask how Daddy planted the seed. Score.
Him: Will the baby be big?
Me, using his teddy as a prop: A little bigger than this guy.
Him: Does it feel like you’re pooping when it comes out?
Me, impressed with his comparison: A little. It hurts, but it’s worth it. Ladies are warriors, we can take it.
Him: So if the baby is a girl, it’ll have a vagina?
And we’re back to ‘ginas.
Me: You got it.
Him: And my sister is a girl so she has a vagina.
Me: Yes.
Him: So you could have a baby, sister could have a baby, AND the baby could have a baby! WE WILL HAVE SO MANY BABIES!
I watch his mathematically-inclined little brain start racking up and multiplying all of the babies courtesy of all of the vaginas.
Me: Someday sister will have babies, but not for a very, very long time. She has to be a lady before she has babies, and right now she’s just a little girl.
He is disappointed, but someday soon he will learn that one baby is more than enough. As is one vagina, because COULD YOU IMAGINE? Oh, the horror.
This sweet parenting moment ruined by yours truly.
You handled this great!
Thanks, Sam!!! It was interesting–that’s for sure!
This is priceless! Out of the mouths of babes, right???
Definitely!!!
OMG, I am reading this out loud to my husband, and we are DYING over here. That is TOO CUTE!!!!! xoxoxo
Your time is coming, woman. Just you wait 🙂 😉 xo
I’m glad my boys aren’t the only ones who talk about ‘ginas! I’m also happy I don’t have to have a baby discussion with them. You did perfectly mama!! I also liked your vlog – but I have to agree with your co-hosts – marshmallows on veggies? That’s just gross.
ALLIE!!! How could you?! Marshmallows on EVERYTHING! 🙂
I appreciate your kind words about the convo; you know us moms: always second-guessing ourselves. I’m crossing my fingers there is no ‘gina talk at preschool on Monday!
Great mom moment! You are raising such smart children Lady! Love the vlog this week too. I have had that hug around the neck experience–almost threw my back out because I wasn’t expecting that monkey to hold on! Miss your face–glad I get to “see” you on the vlog!
That “monkey to hold on!” Hahahahaa!! Yeah, we definitely need to plan a day to get together and just chat. Get the little ones all sugared up and let them loose in the yard or something 😉 THANK YOU!
Steph – this is one of my favorites by far! That little man has an UNBELEIVABLE thought process for a 4 year old – just simply amazing, and oh so sweet at the same time. I suppose it’s so precious to me, because I know all of you personally and can vividly imagine it! Props, girl – job well done ; )
Aww, thanks, “Miss Yisa!” He is a tiny ball of perfection 🙂 Can’t wait ’til Ry starts asking you these kinds of questions–we’ll have to compare notes!
Haha! I actually have a childhood memory of questioning my mom about this. The weird thing is, my brother was born when I was two, so I was very little. But my mom gave me the seed story as well. And I remember asking over and over again HOW did Daddy give that seed to you, and where did he get the seed in the first place? And how will the baby get out? My mom told me the baby would come out through her vagina, with the help of the doctor. I had this very clear image in my head of a doctor with my mom, in a public bathroom inside the hospital somewhere, with my mom giving birth to the baby into the toilet!
Bahahaha!!! I wonder how this conversation with my son has scarred him! Can’t wait to revisit it when he’s 20. Or 30. or maybe never…
It’ll be awhile before I can chow down on some sunflower seeds without blushing.
You’re welcome for that 🙂
Why does the how did it get in there question always follow the how will it get out question? I find the former so much harder to dodge than the latter.
I totally agree, Kathy! And let me just say that I love seeing your name in my comments. I kinda think you’re the bees knees 😉
OMG!!! This is like the cutest post ever! And I LOVE your answers to his questions! Great post!
Thanks so much, Cara!!!
Funny how they are more interested in how the babies get out than in, isn’t it? My youngest insists he remembers what it was like in my tummy. He said he opened his mouth to drink beer when I drank (because I clearly drank beer the entire time I was pregnant with him) and food “bonked” him in the head. Lovely.
Wait. We can’t drink beer while we’re pregnant?
Shiiiiiiiiiiit.
You are so brave! I still tell my 6-year-old that “God makes a way.” Maybe I’ll tell Even Steven that he needs to fill him in…
Brave is one word. Insane is another 🙂
Ha! My daughter asked if babies came out my belly button. I said “no, they come out of mommy’s vagina” and she screamed “eeeewwww!” And ran out of the room. No follow up questions. 😉 I think I am good for a while!
Best birth control ever, right?! 😉
Love his mathematical mind imagining so many babies!
Spectacular! And you handled it so well….also congratulations on baby #3
Thanks so much, Molley!!