Dear Todd Akin

Representative Akin,

The fact that the title “Representative” precedes your name means that it is your job to be the voice of many. Hopefully not too many because if there are legions of others who have similar thoughts and values as yours, I’m moving my crew to the Netherlands and stat. Despite the obvious fact that you are completely oblivious about how sex works or that women do, in fact, have rights in this great country of ours, you’re still in a place of prominence. Of importance. Of authority. And oh does this frighten me on so many levels.

One: you’re clearly an idiot and should never, ever speak words. EVER. However, because you insist on utilizing the English language, people are forced to hear you. If this were a perfect world, no one would actually listen to your mindless blathering, but unfortunately, you have followers. Which leads me to…

Two: because brainless women haters others have elected you to represent their social views, you have a responsibility to use your words carefully. Instead, you have used them to spark a slaughtering of women’s rights and rather than making good on your apology by dropping out of the Senate race, you’re continuing to spread hate by actually spewing MORE stupidity. Case in point: “I said one word in one sentence on one day, and everything changed.” Ummm…no. This rebuttal of yours nicely demonstrates your inability to understand or acknowledge how your views on the woman’s body can have a serious and lasting impact on others’ opinions. Bottom line: if you’re advocating for any kind of legislature that takes away a woman’s right to make a decision about her body, then you might as well just go on believing it was one word that caused this shit storm.

Three: I almost feel silly even having to write this part, but no, Mr. Akin, my body cannot prevent pregnancy in the event that I’m raped. You see, there is a biological process that takes place, regardless if permission, enjoyment, or even love has anything to do with the act of sexual intercourse. I really thought we covered this in 8th grade health class, but perhaps you were absent that day.

In short, if you don’t have a vagina, you don’t have an opinion.

Pleading you to drop out of the race and purchase a muzzle,

Stephanie