A little over a month ago, I had to see a dermatologist because of some shady looking moles. I didn’t think anything of it until my doctor started throwing around the “C” word. I was actually hanging at a local bookstore, trying to get some work done, when my doctor called. I frantically tried to copy down every word she said, but my mind was whirling. After the conversation, I was left staring at a paper that said: “Mole. Cancer? Biopsy?” Well, shit.
I didn’t know if I wanted to tell my family because I knew my mom would cry, my dad would worry, and my brother would be uncomfortable. My husband? God only knows what he would think–the panic would register in his face, but he would try to keep a calm exterior. And then I thought of my little ones. Wow.
Nope, I was not going to freak out and make this into a big deal, nor was I going to allow myself to think the absolute worst. It wasn’t like I just given 3 weeks to live. Yet it sure felt that way. I was scared and when I feel a sad emotion, I do what’s reasonable: I get pissed. EFF YOU, SKIN!
In effort to keep it together (I was in public after all), I fired off an e-mail to a few of my favorite ladies and asked that they please send prayers, good vibes, and positive thoughts my way. I then asked that we basically not talk about it until we had to.
Last week I had the mole removed and biopsied. The doctor was very kind in that she chatted about her upcoming cruise to the Bahamas to take my mind off of the fact that she was digging a hole into my chest. I silently threw another of many prayers up to the Big Guy in hopes that he would hear me.
Today I got the call that everything is A-OK, and I can’t even tell you how good that felt. I didn’t realize how heavy the waiting made me feel until the weight was lifted. I thought I was going to float up to my ceiling which would have worked out well since there’s a big ass cobweb up there and I couldn’t reach it otherwise. Eh, it’s Halloween, it works.
And then I did something I hadn’t done in almost a month: I finally let go of that breath I was holding.
This was my first tango with any health issue, let alone the “C” word, and I totally realize that my scenario is barely existent compared to others.’ Even still, I was pretty freaked out. And as a result, you are now receiving a Public Service Announcement: Raised moles aren’t necessarily the trouble makers; keep an eye on the ones that are darker in color, or change shape, color, or size. Check those moles on the regular, use sunscreen, and above all else, when you know that the doctor is putting you in a paper gown, do not wear a thong. Just throwin’ that last one out there as a courtesy. You’re welcome.