A little over a month ago, I had to see a dermatologist because of some shady looking moles. I didn’t think anything of it until ย my doctor started throwing around the “C” word. I was actually hanging at a local bookstore, trying to get some work done, when my doctor called. I frantically tried to copy down every word she said, but my mind was whirling. After the conversation, I was left staring at a paper that said: “Mole. Cancer? Biopsy?” Well, shit.
I didn’t know if I wanted to tell my family because I knew my mom would cry, my dad would worry, and my brother would be uncomfortable. My husband? God only knows what he would think–the panic would register in his face, but he would try to keep a calm exterior. And then I thought of my little ones. Wow.
Nope, I was not going to freak out and make this into a big deal, nor was I going to allow myself to think the absolute worst. It wasn’t like I just given 3 weeks to live. Yet it sure felt that way. I was scared and when I feel a sad emotion, I do what’s reasonable: I get pissed. EFF YOU, SKIN!
In effort to keep it together (I was in public after all), I fired off an e-mail to a few of my favorite ladies and asked that they please send prayers, good vibes, and positive thoughts my way. I then asked that we basically not talk about it until we had to.
Last week I had the mole removed and biopsied. The doctor was very kind in that she chatted about her upcoming cruise to the Bahamas to take my mind off of the fact that she was digging a hole into my chest. I silently threw another of many prayers up to the Big Guy in hopes that he would hear me.
He did.
Today I got the call that everything is A-OK, and I can’t even tell you how good that felt. I didn’t realize how heavy the waiting made me feel until the weight was lifted. I thought I was going to float up to my ceiling which would have worked out well since there’s a big ass cobweb up there and I couldn’t reach it otherwise. Eh, it’s Halloween, it works.
And then I did something I hadn’t done in almost a month: I finally let go of that breath I was holding.
This was my first tango with any health issue, let alone the “C” word, and I totally realize that my scenario is barely existent compared to others.’ Even still, I was pretty freaked out. And as a result, you are now receiving a Public Service Announcement: Raised moles aren’t necessarily the trouble makers; keep an eye on the ones that are darker in color, or change shape, color, or size. Check those moles on the regular, use sunscreen, and above all else, when you know that the doctor is putting you in a paper gown, do not wear a thong. Just throwin’ that last one out there as a courtesy. You’re welcome.
vernette says
I’m glad you’re ok. I had a lump removed from my breast about 3 years ago. Cancer is in my family – my mom died 2 years ago from Ovarian Cancer, so this was a precaution more than anything else, but I still shudder at the absolute panic I felt when I found out it was there and the waiting game to find out if it was going to kill me.
Thank you for sharing this personal information with the rest of us. And I will add my own PSA:LADIES, get a Pap Smear once a year and feel those boobies as you lather up in the shower. It may save your life.
whencrazymeetsexhaustion says
Oh Vernette, I’m so sorry to hear about your mom ๐ I was thinking of those who weren’t as lucky to get the “good phone call” as I was writing–breaks my heart. I will heed your PSA, I promise!!!!!!
vernette says
Please do. I’m reading all the other comments and as women we need to remember each other in prayer. It’s not easy, we may follow all the rules but the bad stuff finds us anyway. My prayer for all of you today is that you are blessed with enough time to live as fully as you can and to love as hard as you can. Take care of yourselves ladies.
Christine at More Than Mommies says
I have had three moles removed and had one on my back checked just a month or so ago. Everything is good here too. It’s hard to not think the worst. I’m glad that everything is good for you and thanks for the reminder to keep an eye on those things!!
whencrazymeetsexhaustion says
From what I’ve learned this is fairly common, but it sure threw me for a loop!!! Thank goodness both of us are okay!
Heather McLain says
Glad to hear you are okay. I had a mass removed from my breast my senior year of college. Scariest thing to go through. I’m awaiting removal of a questionable mole as well. Prayers to you and yours to remain healthy and thanks for the advice!
whencrazymeetsexhaustion says
Oh Heather, I’m so sorry ๐ Prayers to you and the questionable mole, too. The waiting sucks, as I’m sure you well know. Here’s hoping for MORE good news!
brenaturally says
Glad to hear all is well and the results came back good. Had the same experience about 2 years ago. The scar on my shoulder reminds me to slather myself in sunscreen and wear protective gear. The thong FYI was hilarious! Will keep it in mind. (Granny panties aren’t much better…just sayin’)
whencrazymeetsexhaustion says
Here’s to many more healthy years slathering in sunscreen and suitable panties!!!
Ms.Problems says
Awesome news! Glad to hear another unanswered prayer ๐
Ms.Problems says
*answered, my fingers got happy. I blame the pregnancy ๐
whencrazymeetsexhaustion says
Ahahaha!! I was hoping that’s what you meant, but I didn’t want to start a brawl via blogging ๐ When are you due?! I love me some baby stories!!!!!!!
Ms.Problems says
Ohhh brawling through blogging, that is interesting ๐
April 13th Still have a little ways, but almost halfway there!!
whencrazymeetsexhaustion says
No brawls with a prego–promise ๐ CONGRATS again!! April 13th will be here before you know it!! Enjoy this time–so exciting!!
whencrazymeetsexhaustion says
Thanks ๐
narcissista1 says
So glad you’re OK. The waiting and anxiety is awful – your brain just goes nuts with all kinds of crazy. I had breast cancer 7 years ago and I swear the worst part was waiting for the preverbal shoe to drop. But once it did, I actually was more able to deal than I realized.
Becca
whencrazymeetsexhaustion says
Glad you’re okay, too, Becca!!!!!!!!!