I love being pregnant. My husband says I’m more pleasant when with child, which is basically a veiled insult, but I’ll take it. People always ask me what it is about being knocked up that I enjoy so much. Sure, there are some aches and pains, especially toward the end (at least for me), and my third pregnancy wasn’t always kind: blinding, vomit-inducing migraines in the beginning, an acrobatic fetus tap dancing on my sciatic nerve in the middle, and then, at almost 35-weeks, I considered suggesting “The Pregnant Limp” as an Olympic sport because JAYSUS is it hard to walk.
Considering all that, it still didn’t take me long to come up with a list of the reasons why I generally enjoy being pregnant.
1. I’m never alone. I can talk to my belly and people think it’s cute as opposed to psychotic like when they catch me talking to my grocery list in the cereal aisle.
2. When I cannot stop shoveling food into my face, there is no judgement; everyone is all, “You’re eating for two!” Yep. Now pass the cookies or someone is losing a finger.
3. My huge belly makes my huge ass look that much smaller.
4. If I’m at my preschooler’s soccer game, I don’t have to fake enthusiasm for grass picking and butterfly chasing. Chalk my ill-timed giggles and incessant yawing up to first trimester exhaustion and I’m still Mother of the Year.
5. Two words: pregnancy cleavage.
6. I’ve yet to find a more convenient spot for resting my bowl of snacks than on the fetus table. No strenuous reaching necessary and the bowl-to-mouth distance is optimal for catching crumbs.
7. My pregnant urine is going to make this family a fortune!
8. My hair looks extra shiny. Because I can’t stop sweating.
9. I forget EVERYTHING. Dates, names, a work meeting I may or may not have napped through… But one mention of Pregnancy Brain and no one calls me on the carpet for being “irresponsible.” I’m simply that absent-minded Mommy. #score
10. Adorable belly shots. I can’t get enough.
And one to grow on…
11. At the end of this crazy, final ride, I will have another tiny human who calls me Mom and relies on me for everything. It will inspire me to love more, laugh more, and lose my ever-loving mind. And I truly can’t wait.
Fetus table! OMG, I love you.
It comes in handy so it does.
Quite amusing so it was
So glad you enjoyed it 😉
Love #5 but still not worth it to be pregnant!! Although, my only experience was with twins so you can understand why I would rather do almost anything then THAT again!!
TWINS!!! Bless you and your uterus!
This excellent list almost makes me want to get pregnant again. Almost.
Fetus table might be the funniest thing I’ve ever heard associated with pregnancy. Hahaaaa!! Love it!
Go for it, Jen! United we stand in fetus tables 🙂
Love this so much! I’m exactly the same when pregnant. I make the most of my “eating for two” and my hair, nails and skin are perfect. But most importantly, I no longer have to hold my stomach in! If only my deliveries went better, I might consider doing it for a 3rd time…
Oooh I love not having to suck in the tummy. Soooooo nice!
Love it! Glad to see you’re looking at pregnancy with the “glass half full” attitude!
Thanks, Amy!
I forgot about 1 and 2. I guess it wasn’t all bad, after all.
There’s always a silver lining. Sometimes it’s chocolate.
This is great. Pregnant with twins or my singleton, I lived it all. Best if all when prefers, the baby sleeps when you sleep, eats when you eat and no diapers! But truly, I’ve never felt so healthy, and alive as when creating life. Besides, it gave me a chance to show off those ‘baby making’ hips I’ve carried around my whole life!
“I’ve never felt so healthy, and alive as when creating life.” YES, Lynette! YES!
Number 3 was always a favourite. 🙂
Ahhh yes. The great equalizer 😉
I agree with Amy…FETUS TABLE!!! Love it. So funny and true. Glad there are people like you who enjoy the process. I looked like Frodo from the Lord of the Rings series each time.
Hahaha!! I don’t claim to look better than Frodo; I only THINK I do. It’s like instead of rose-colored glasses I have pregnant-colored glasses. Meh. whatever works 😉
I’m all for number 5. That alone makes me want to get pregnant again 😀
Tho’ it be magnificent, it be sore. Very, very sore. 🙂
Heheeee. I can’t even see you but I find pregnant Steph utterly adorable.
Well thank ya! I’ll refrain from sharing pictures of my cankles in a few months then 😉
I love that you linked to PIWTPITT’s post b/c I read it yesterday and thought of you! You are so going to be a millionare, gorgeous pregnant lady!
I read it and was like CHA-CHING!!!!! I can’t believe really want someone’s pee stick, though. Gross.
Every day you make me smile — for that thank you!
This is the last thing I’m reading before I pass out for the night; I want to savor the flavor of your compliment 😉 THANK YOU!!
I want a fetus table too…. :'(
You can always get yourself one, yaknowwhatI’msayin?! (Do NOT tell my priest I said that…)
xo
Fetus table!!! Love it! I did have a boyfriend in high school who had a fetus table before fetus tables were cool…no baby inside, but still plenty of room to set his bag of chips. I can’t help it; I love me a fat man. I always tell the hubs I’d be totally cool if he gained some weight, but still that bastard goes and works out every day…SIGH. What the H was this comment about again?? 🙂
The randomness of this made me so happy 🙂
I love it! You named some of my absolute favorite things about being pregnant… mostly the excuse for eating more cookies and being forgetful. Those are the best.
I wish I could forget about the cookies and then maybe–just maybe–wouldn’t have to work so hard to take the baby weight off. Willpower is not my friend.
By far my favorite thing you said was the “veiled insult” line. My husband does that all the time, too! Do they have to actively try not to think before talking? Good thing we know they love us, right?
Do they have to actively try not to think before talking?
PRICELESS.
SO ADORABLE and you brought me back to my pregnancies in every one of these!!! You crack my ars up, girl!!! Actually my favorite line was what you said about your hubs- My husband says I’m more pleasant when with child, which is basically a veiled insult, but I’ll take it. -HILARIOUS!!!
Yeah, I mean, I so appreciate that he notices I’m pretty “zen,” but c’mon, man. Just say what you’re thinking: “She’s a lunatic after childbirth.”
🙂
First off. I too love pregnancy for every single one of your aforementioned reasons and I miss it terribly– Now that I think about it I’m going to use this as the excuse for me gaining 15 lbs this summer and having to tell my six year old “no mommy is NOT pregnant. gasp!” *ouch*
On an semi- related note, since Halloween is right around the corner, might I suggest the perfect pregnancy couple costume? He is a baker. You are an oven with a bun in it. I will post a pic to your Facebook wall and you will immediately understand why this is an ideal costume for the couple attending a Halloween party where the only thing you will be able to enjoy is the food. And to be honest–that’s fine!
I LOVED that picture and I love the idea!!!! One year when I was pregnant with my daughter, I went to a Halloween party and just sewed baby doll arms coming out of my shirt, holding a “Trick or Treat” bag. I thought it was amusing; everyone else thought it was creepy. Meh. I won a prize so that’s all that matters 😉
You look beautiful, by the way, and do NOT look pregnant! xo
I love being pregnant also 🙂 I could have done without the severe morning sickness that caused me to dehyrate no matter how much water I drank, that I almost lost the baby at 10 weeks. I’m now 19 weeks today and have some pains. But other than that, I love being pregnant 🙂 I missed it from my first, the feeling of three kicks and hiccups and everything. 🙂
WHOA! Scary stuff, Jessie. I’m so happy to hear that you’re moving right along and both you and baby are healthy! Hiccuping and all 🙂
Appreciate the recommendation. Will try itt out.