The Walk of Shame

Yesterday around 11am, I started to feel…funny. Lower back pains, cramping in my belly–you know, in labor kind of funny. I put my husband on alert at work and went about the rest of my day as normal: dropped the boy off at pre-school, got the girl down for her nap, and settled in at my computer to get some work done. But the cramping and the aches continued, so I did what the professionals suggest and changed positions. I readily took to the couch (like I needed an excuse to nap), and lay there for about a half an hour. The aches increased, which were reminiscent of the back labor I had with my son in 2009. Not a fan, but I recognized the signs. Or so I thought.

Called the doctor’s office and just my luck, my favorite doc was in! She wanted to see me, so I put the “we might be in labor wheels in motion.” Contacted all involved parties, arranged for my mom to stay at the house while my gal slept, the husband came home from work, and we left for my appointment.

In retrospect, it’s worth mentioning that I spoke the words, “I don’t feel like this is IT,” before we left, and Zach seconded that emotion. Didn’t know how right we were…

Anyhoo, the non-stress test and excruciating exam (seriously, can we get some doctors with longer fingers?) proved that I was, in fact, contracting and dilated. For those of you familiar with and/or interested in the specifics: less than a week ago, I was barely dilated; at today’s appointment, I was two centimeters. So, progress! That, coupled with the fact that we live about an hour from where I deliver, my doc suggested we head to the hospital in the event that my labor would just take off, as is common in subsequent pregnancies. She called ahead and even managed to let us bypass triage and hooked us up with a labor and delivery suite. Whoo hoo!

Or not.

I'm in labor! Just kidding.


I won’t lie: we weren’t necessarily rushing to the hospital. In fact, when we got there, my handsome hubby and I walked down the street to Panera. Hey, labor is hard work and Mama wanted a bagel. We laughed as we sat munching on our carbs; had that been our first baby, there is no way we would have dilly-dallied like that. #ExperiencedParents

By the time we meandered back to the hospital, all of the L&D rooms were full, of course. There were so many laboring Mamas that many of them were laboring (and possibly delivering) in triage rooms, which, if you aren’t familiar with those rooms, are basically closets with uncomfortable beds. By the time we finished the paperwork and the same Q/A session with three different nurses, we were taken back to our closet and all the formalities began: urine sample, blood pressure check, hooked up to monitors, etc. We seemed to be making progress.

Or not.

We sat around for a few hours before a nurse came to actually read the results from the non-stress test. She never did anything with the pee I had so proudly produced on demand. What a waste. She offered to get me some water and then disappeared forever and ever into the hospital abyss, never to return with said water. When the monitors started acting crazy a few minutes later, I rang the nurse’s desk for help. I was told someone would be right down.

An hour later and no one to be found, and I started to get pissed. We turned on the Pirates game to pass the time (Go Bucs), and finally, a little after 7 (over 2 hours since we had arrived), a doctor came by to examine me. I was incredibly discouraged to learn that I had only made a half a centimeter’s worth of progress AND to hear that the baby’s head was “pretty high,” which is the exact opposite of what my OBGYN said at my appointment only a few hours before. She remarked how low the baby was…

Is it possible to regress while in labor?

Because I did. The back ache was still there, but faint. Any signs of contractions were so far and few between that I barely noticed them. And no other symptoms had surfaced. No bueno.

Finally, around 9pm, my doctor stopped in and started throwing around words like “augmenting” and “admitting for a c-section.”


Because I had a c-section with my son in 2009, I have a scar on my uterus. (Duh). Despite a successful vaginal delivery with my daughter in 2011, there are still concerns of uterine rupture. I’m not a candidate for induction, and the only way the doctors will help the labor along is if I make more progress on my own. Basically, my options were to let my body do its thing all in due time (either at home or in all of triage’s frustrating discomfort) OR wait for a L&D room whereupon I would be “enticed” into another c-section. I asked to go home.

And so we gathered our belongings and my pride, and made the walk of shame out of the hospital. I am home now, typing this at 4am because STILL PREGNANT.

Part of me is frustrated because HELLOOOO this is my third pregnancy. How do I NOT know what labor feels like? I never jumped the gun with the first two; why start now?! Another part of me is embarrassed for the same reasons. When we were told to head to the hospital, I contacted work, friends and family, and my pals on Facebook to let them know it was “go time.” And now I’m all, “Just kidding. I’m a moron.” So, blah.

Babies come when they’re good and ready. I know this. I just thought this baby was good and ready. I felt like a little kid on Christmas Eve; the anticipation and excitement were building and building and now…nothing. Though it was nice to have time with Zach, and be able to give one another our full attention. That’s hard to do with kids and life. Oh, well. Good things come to those who wait and more clichés and whatnot.

And now we wait.

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  1. At least you got to test out the “go time” plan and it sounds like that part went smoothly. Plus you got a bagel out of it. Nothing to be embarrassed about unless you forgot the cream cheese.

  2. Hey, there is NOTHING moronic or shameful about it. Every baby and every delivery is different, and it was the right thing to do. I just think you have a very smart kid that told him/herself:

    “I am not going to be born in triage with a med student as my only support. I’d rather wait for the suite with the flat screen and a doctor and a nurse all to myself. Also I think it’s better to be there on a day where it doesn’t take ages till my mommy gets something to drink, cause I may be young and all, but I already know that if Mommy ain’t happy, nobody’s happy!!”

  3. Oh BLESS YOUR HEART!!!!!!!! Okay- so get RID of any negative feelings about this…shame or embarrassment!!! NO NO NO!!! You are a precious hilarious adorable gorgeous amazing mom, woman wife and friend. You can NEVER be sure about the baby coming, and guess what? You need to honor your body and the changes you felt and you DID just that. Every pregnancy is totally different and so is EVERY delivery… you know you know that. (Yes- I re-read that part and it IS what I wanted to say- ‘you know you know that’ lol)

    In due time love. And hell, you can take us with you on a ride ANY TIME!!!! You see, everyone is just wanting to be with you whether or not the baby comes this instant, tomorrow or next week. We love you here, there and everywhere!!!

  4. It’s all good. (Says the chick who isn’t 9 months pregnant.) Just another funny story to tell when sharing the birth story every year. :) This one’s either super laid back or a little ornery. I’m going with the former :)

  5. It’s fine! You’ll go back when the hospital isn’t so busy, and when the nurse has time to get you water. And the very best news? It’ll still be baseball season.

    I will say this, I was surprised to see you on FB this morning, what with a new baby and all, but that was before I read this. ;)

  6. This sounds all too familiar to me, except that my doctor went ahead and induced because I was 2 weeks late (according to him, although I figured I was right on time because we don’t do it for fun, we do it for a purpose, but whatever, Doc was the professional and he was ready to go for it, so by all means, GET IT OUT OF ME!), and, as I remember Doc saying at the time, “You’ll jump out of that bed and kill me if I don’t get this started, won’t you?” My response? “I would if I could, Doc. I would if I could.” Cue 8 hours later and my second boy was born. SCORE! Can’t wait to hear all about it when your baby is here!

  7. Yeah, I think that the baby knew that with such a busy L&D, you guys wouldn’t get the patience and care you deserve. I would say it’s a sign that this kiddo won’t like crowds. So, see! No shame in that! I did the “walk of shame” with ALL 4 of mine for different reasons. But each time, it gave me alone time with Hubby. 3 of them were very uncomfortable in make-shift ER/LD cubicles. The last one, they had just remodeled the ER and it was like staying at a Hilton. We got to watch cable and everything! *LOL* <3

  8. I think we should rename the “Walk of Shame” to something more awesome sounding? Any ideas? Hugs to you… thanks for being generous enough to make us laugh at your wasted pee and trip to the hospital and keeping us all in the loop. You are loved! :)

  9. Oh…BIG hugs to you! With both of my children my water broke so I didn’t have to wonder if it was time or not. I didn’t stop for food with the second one (good move on your part!) but I did take a shower and blow dry my hair! Priorities and all.
    The only wish you had a chocolate baby head to go along with your delicious bagel. Surely that would have sped things along! (or kept you pregnant another 4 weeks. I guess it could go either way, so many it’s for the best after all.)
    I think your sweet baby just didn’t want you to have to labor and deliver in a closet! I bet the next time there will be a beautiful and comfy room available! (and I hope you don’t have to wait too long! ) XOXO– Lisa

  10. This once again proves that every child birth & delivery story is SO different. With my first I ran to the hospital post-haste, with movie-like shrieks from the pain, to be sent home and deliver my baby 14 hours later. Baby 2 I hung out at home, watched Elf, had a roast beef sandwich, and he came 4 hours later. It isn’t about us knowing or not knowing – so no shame – it is about the fact that this whole thing is a complete mystery without any science behind it. xo and can not WAIT to hear how it goes. hugs!

  11. Oh babe, I am the Queen of Walks of Shame and I’m only 2 in. I swear my picture is on secret board behind the nurses station. They LOVE me. I love you, and no shame involved–just keep rocking it.


  1. […] They were regular AND intensifying, which is something that hadn’t happened during my Walk of Shame a few weeks prior. It was finally the real deal! We would soon be meeting our new son or daughter! […]

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