If you want a how-to manual for trouble-free parenting, one that offers guidance and advice from other Moms, I Just Want to Pee Alone is not the book for you.
The honest, hilarious, and sometimes poignant ladies in this Momthology aren’t trying to tell us how to parent; they are holding our hands and laughing with us as we wade through the swirling waters of Motherhood. Admitting that they, too, have failed at Pinterest crafting and have also experienced sidewalk rage while driving their strollers, these Moms make us feel normal. And I don’t know about you, but I need a little more normal in my day.
After spending only three days in the hospital with my first-born, I vividly remember looking down at him as we were wheeled out to the car thinking, I can’t believe these doctors are letting me take this human home! I walked around in a fog for the first few weeks, loving on my baby, but also looking over my shoulder, waiting for someone to call me out for being completely unqualified. If the other moms of baby boys knew to cover the peeper during a diaper change as to not be accosted by pee, no one gave me that memo.
The weeks turned to months, and the months to years, and each time I got used to his routine, the little turd would switch it up on me. Add a second child, a diva that rivaled Mariah Carey, and I was shit out of luck. I was drowning, man. I needed a community of other moms who had taken a shot of urine to the eye and wanted to laugh about it.
Listen, parenting is the toughest job we’ll ever have, and if we can’t find the levity in it, we will be buried under a pile of responsibility, expectations, and tears.
That is what I Just Want to Pee Alone is about.
(Links to all authors and their respective blogs below)
If the high schooler who delivered your baby accidentally sewed you a second vagina, you’re not alone. Susan McLean can relate.
Did you breastfeed, hate it, but are crazy enough to do it again? It’s okay–you’re allowed! And Cloudy, with a Chance of Wine’s Dani Ryan shares her honest experiences, judgement-free.
Ever watch your father fold the laundry on your mom’s dead body? No?! Allow Meredith Spidel of The Mom of the Year to explain.
Confessions of a Corn Fed Girl explains the cosmic consequences of Karma, including but not limited to, back fat, pimples, and Disney’s Cars.
A fellow Oversharer, Amy from Funny is Family, let her friends feel on her boobs. Enough said.
Need a soundtrack to your post-baby sex life? Michelle Newman of You’re My Favorite Today is happy to add some tunes to your playlist.
If you have more than one kid, it’s safe to say they are polar opposites. Robyn Welling dishes on the differences between her three pregnancies and deliveries, never losing sight of what’s really important: the hospital pudding.
What Mom doesn’t need her own personal assistant?! Kim Forde‘s “Wanted” outlines the necessary qualifications of the sucker applicant who is to become The Mom Assistant.
Kerry Rossow reminds us to love our bodies and to be naked as much as possible, especially before our “boobs [go] from a 34B to a 36Long.”
Momaical’s Tracy Winslow acknowledges the importance of instilling an “enviable lexicon” into our kids, if only to avoid having to say the word penis. (Not that you’ve asked my opinion, but it’s my review so lay off: this is one of my FAVORITES!!!!!)
Jen, the genius behind the book and her blog People I Want to Punch in the Throat, is self-admittedly “… a funny, negative, bitchy type of person. I write about stuff that we all do that pisses us all off. If you don’t have a sense of humor, then this isn’t the place for you.” The same can be said for I Just Want to Pee Alone; while there are a few stories that will leaving you reaching for the Kleenex, for the most part, you’re going to be reaching for your grandma’s Depends. You will laugh. You will snort. You will nod your head like YES! That happened to me, too! Jen and the other moms are crazy about their kids, but they don’t get caught up in the world of competitive parenting. And that’s what makes them, and their stories, real.
There are so many more ridiculously entertaining gems in this book, but my daughter is currently washing her hands in the toilet, so I gotta run. But before I go, let me tell ya how you can get your toilet-water-free hands on copy of I Just Want to Pee Alone.
Duh, go to a bookstore, or…
Below are links and instructions (that I borrowed from Jen–thanks, Jen) for downloading I Just Want to Pee Alone on whatever fancy device you have. So, there’s no excuse. Go get your copy. Seriously, get outta here.
KINDLE – CLICK HERE.
AMAZON PAPERBACK BOOK DELIVERED TO YOUR DOOR – CLICK HERE.
APPLE – Buy it at iTunes.
NOOK – B&N is taking its sweet time. In the meantime, you can get it from Smashwords. Just follow the instructions for NOOK. CLICK HERE.
KOBO AND SONY READER – CLICK HERE.
Much like the aforementioned list of instructions, I have borrowed the following from Jen, who borrowed it from Karen at Baby Sideburns. Sharing is caring unless it’s plagiarism, in which case, it’s not cool. So cite your sources, people, mmmkay?
RachRiot
Momaical
Snarkfest
Ninja Mom
Honest Mom
HouseTalkN
Naps Happen
My Real Life
Frugalista Blog
Baby Sideburns
Funny is Family
My Life and Kids
Mom’s New Stage
Toulouse & Tonic
Random Handprints
Nurse Mommy Laughs
Suburban Snapshots
Four Plus an Angel
The Dose of Reality
Kelley’s Break Room
The Mom of the Year
Life on Peanut Layne
Hollow Tree Ventures
The Fordeville Diaries
Binkies and Briefcases
Let Me Start By Saying
Bad Parenting Moments
Insane in the Mom Brain
Rants From Mommyland
You’re My Favorite Today
Confessions of a Cornfed Girl
Cloudy, With a Chance of Wine
People I Want to Punch in the Throat
The Divine Secrets of a Domestic Diva
You Know it Happens at Your House Too
I Love Them Most When They’re Sleeping
The Underachiever’s Guide to Being a Domestic Goddess
Have you missed your calling as a professional book critic? Nicely done!
Love this! Such a great review, and fun to read, too. Off to share everywhere! Thank you!!
Thanks so much for this fabulous review! 🙂 You rock!-The Dose Girls
More than welcome, girls!
Great review Steph. Now I really can’t wait to read it. I ordered this from Amazon, along with a copy other Mommy books, and I’m so excited to read it! I have a feeling I won’t put it down until I’m done. These gals are so funny and open about their experiences that I feel I can be that way too. As a matter of fact, might need to put Depends on today’s grocery list. Evidently, peeing myself might be the only way I’ll get to pee alone!! Have a great weekend Steph!
Penny at Green Moms and Kids
Evidently, peeing myself might be the only way I’ll get to pee alone!!
YES!!!!
This is truly the best review I’ve read of any book in years! Thank you so much! I was trying to hold out and ask for this book for Mother’s Day but you know what? Screw it! They can buy my jewelry! Can’t to order mine.
And I love when anyone uses the word “normal” I’m so vein;)
Vicky
Thanks for the compliment, Vicky! I vote for buying I Just Want to Pee Alone now, and grabbing Honest Toddler’s book around Mother’s Day. Just a suggestion from this wanna-be reviewer 😉
Thank you so much and I love this review, and not just because I’m one of the contributors. I also stole the contributors list from Jen via Karen but I centered mine instead of left justified, and let’s just say there’s a surprise image when you do, and I could not stop laughing when some people so uh nicely pointed it out.
Well you know I had to go look, and yes. That is a large dildo on your page. Please tell me that’s what everyone else saw, too…
And you’re most welcome for the review! You ladies rocked this and I truly loved it. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have written about it!
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!! I truly appreciate your kind words and amazing review of our book! You are awesome, lady!
It was my pleasure, Tracy! I read your entire story out loud to my husband, and kept having to start over because I constantly interrupted myself with incessant giggling. GOOD STUFF!!!
I love you. I don’t know you, but I love you and am holding you close right now. Feel it?
Thanks for the kick-ass review and the links and the love. I’ll definitely be sharing!
I’m feeling myself right now. But I don’t think that’s what you meant.
😉
You’re more than welcome!
Stellar review. I agree with someone above who said you missed your calling as a book critic. If I hadn’t already read it, I’d buy the book based on your review. 🙂
Haha! Thanks, Kathy! Maybe I should give up teaching and take up writing. I’d be just as frustrated and broke, right? 😉
Wow, what an amazing review! Thanks SO much!
My pleasure, Robyn!
Thank you for such an amazing review and shout out! You are the best! I’m so glad you enjoyed the book and that it made you laugh! Thanks so much, Steph! xoxoxo
It truly did make me laugh out loud! I didn’t expect to tear up, but I was pleasantly surprised nonetheless 😉
Thank you so much for this wonderful review and the shout-out! I’m so glad that you enjoyed this book of awesome. (Can I say that, even though I am in it? Oops, I just did!) But seriously, my co-authors are the shiznit.
By the by, I totally read your blog title as “When Crazy Meet Sex … something something.” Yes, I know that here is something wrong with me.
You can say whatever you want, Johi; you’re famous 🙂 Oh and I TOTALLY get pervs from all over the world because they, too, see the “sex” in my URL. Either brilliant marketing or a huge snafu. I’ve yet to decide 😉
You rock! I am SO glad to read this Most Official Review and am so glad you enjoyed. Your support means so much and you are so kind, my friend! A book isn’t a book without the word from When Crazy Meets Exhaustion!
Anything for you, Meredith!!! 🙂
Thanks so much for doing all of us…SUCH a big favor by writing this incredibly kind review of our parts…IN our anthology by gals, for gals, but mostly on top…did somebody slip something in my drink? Well, you get it! YOU ROCK!
Thank you! And awesome book!!
Love. This. 🙂 Book has GOT to be amazing!!!
It really is!!
Hi, I log on to your blog on a regular basis. Your humoristic style is awesome,
keep doing what you’re doing!