Those who know my husband know he’s not into devices. He’s ahead of the game when it comes to technology in his classroom, but he still reads an actual newspaper and he’s been known to say, “It’ll stop” when we tell him his phone is ringing. Also? I’m pretty sure he doesn’t even know how to turn on an iPad so there’s that.
So it makes sense that he often wonders what the hell I’m doing with my phone in my face 24/7. He gets annoyed, understandably so, because sometimes most of the time it is too much. But it’s simultaneously too much and necessary. It’s no secret being constantly connected is the cause of much of our stress as a society: immediate and frequent updates from the media, threatening our collective demise if X happens or if Y doesn’t happen. It’s more than overwhelming, yet here we are. Here I am.
Phone in hand, a permanent fixture, a new appendage. I’m always on “that damn phone” because I’m…
Working
Checking on my friend with metastatic breast cancer
Reading the news
Working!
Taking photos or videos of my kids
Sending a birthday text with accompanying, hilarious GIF
Closing a deal and making money
Exchanging text messages consisting of only movie quotes with my brother
Returning my mom’s 12th call of the day
Sending a Remind message to the baseball team
Confirming a play date for the girls (that’s a thing)
Looking up a new recipe
Looking up alternative ingredients for that recipe because hell no I’m not going back to the grocery store
Checking Facebook to see if my friend had her baby
Updating my calendar to reflect upcoming doctor appointments
Sending emails regarding payment for a freelancing gig (CAN YOU PEOPLE JUST PAY US IN FULL ON TIME PLEASE?)
Jotting down notes for new article
Seeing if anyone has liked my latest post on Instagram
Sending kudos to my BFF on landing the new job with the amazing office
Scanning a new book’s bar code to see if it’s age appropriate for my second grader
Ordering and scheduling pick up of our next grocery order
Checking the weather
Two words: Amazon Prime
Setting several alarms to remind me of…everything
Googling the closest place that sells my new favorite alcoholic beverage, Truly
Opening Google Maps to find the nearest spray park because I refuse to believe summer is over
Group messaging with college roommates to pick a date for dinner
Searching for a vacation destination that can accommodate three generations
Reading reviews of new restaurant
Sending money to charities that support women
Re-ordering my contacts
Reading about, laughing at, then suppressing cries about all things US government
Composing a Tweet
Checking my 5 different email accounts
Popping in on my favorite Facebook groups
Sending an adorable pic of the kids to the grandparents
Checking up on a sick loved one
Calling…no one. I hate talking on the phone. Duh.
Can the phone make a pancake breakfast? (George Carlin skit about phones…one of my favorites)