This is What a Decade of Us Looks Like

10 years, 521 weeks, 3,650 days.

A decade.

I’m not sure what a decade of marriage looks like anywhere else, but around here, it looks a lot like

three kids and two dogs
a strict family budget ohmygod relax
dinnertime trivia
an obsessively landscaped lawn
dog hair all over the floors
full calendars and fuller to-do lists
glitches in communication
a lot of laughter
tons of hugs
yelling
prayers
forgetting
a limit on screen time we’re really bad at enforcing
losing patience
patience lost
monthly rants about Comcast’s thievery
quiet time in between the kids falling asleep and us collapsing
frustrations
change that better accommodates a family of 5
feeling conflicted between wanting to press fast forward, rewind, or pause
worrying we’ll never catch up
a happy house
a commitment to constant improvement
LAUNDRY
support
side by side trimmings, you of your ear hair, me of my maternal mustache
you narrating car rides with “old faithful” stories: a weeping willow’s destructive root system and the math behind bridge construction
me rolling my eyes yet inwardly grateful for the security that comes from old faithfuls
three claps for beach snacks
Rolling Stones vs. Justin Timberlake turned “Annie and Elsie” vs. the Jesus CD the kids sing along to and it’s ADORABLE
Caribbean turned Delaware
straight flights turned cramped vans
baseball
cholesterol
colonoscopies
more laughter because we’re old
losses
gains
trying

There’s soooo much trying in marriage, isn’t there? Trying times, trying to keep it together, trying to be together while trying to be separate, trying to be the best, trying just not to suck, trying to communicate, trying to be patient, trying to remember, trying to remember why we want to remember.

But we keep trying. Year after year, we keep trying.

Let’s keep trying, okay? Let’s not give up even when it seems easier, and let’s promise to help each other up even if–especially if–we’ve knocked the other down. Marriage is work. It’s hard fucking work. A decade of working to make it work deserves to be acknowledged. Celebrated! Most definitely appreciated. And I appreciate you, us, our family. (WE MADE A FAMILY! Is that fact still remarkable to you, too?)

10 years, 521 weeks, 3,650 days.

A decade.

So here’s to another decade of trying, trimming, and loving. Because even when we don’t say it, even when we don’t think we feel it, the love is there. And there’s no one I’d rather love for another 10 years, 521 weeks, and 3,650 days than you. Happy Anniversary!