My birthday was a few weeks ago. The husband interviewed our kids and wrote their responses in a homemade card. So cute! I loved it…except that my son answered, “Work” when asked what my favorite thing to do was. Hmmmm… And just yesterday the kid was typing on his pretend laptop and when I asked him a question, he said, “Hold on one sec; just let me finish this.”
So he does listen when I speak…
My kids think I prefer work over them (dagger to the heart much?), and my company is so insane right now that I’m using the “hold on one sec” phrase a lot more than I care to. Being a stay-at-home-working-mom isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Some days I feel like my kids would be better off in daycare because at least someone would play with them there. Boo.
I’m feeling like an inadequate parent, wife, and homemaker right about now. We’ll ignore the fact that I’m also a sucky employee these days because I plan to win the Powerball tomorrow night and solve that problem. Anyway, as sucky as I may be right now, I know that I will get better and this, too, shall pass. I just have to be patient, try my best, and keep smiling. Oh, and remember that there are a lot of people who suck a lot worse than I. Fancy seeing some of them at my high school reunion!!
Let me preface this by saying that the majority of my fellow graduates are lovely. It was fun and interesting and just plain good to see and talk to them. I say this earnestly, not because so many admitted they read this blog. *Waves*
But then there were others. Others who used words like “retard” and “nigger” and whose displays of drunkenness were nothing short of a damn shame. I’m no prude; I took advantage of the open bar and my best gal pal in her pregnant glory as my designated driver, but COME ON. I had the same conversation with the same person three different times; if I wanted to do that, I could have just stayed home and called my mom.
I just wonder how people of my age group, who have grown up in what I thought was a progressive state of thinking and feeling, can be so callous and hateful. I don’t wonder about it all that often because I refuse to give people like that too much of my time, but there was definitely a vodka storm cloud hanging over us, trying to rain on our happy reunion hugs and belly laughs. Fortunately, for most of us, it was a great night where optimism and hilarious reminiscing prevailed.
Will I attend another reunion? To be determined. But one thing is for certain: my kid just walked into the room, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with a big good morning smile on his face, and I am closing my laptop. I’m taking a step toward being less sucky. Wish I could say the same for others.
I’ve just come off an insane period of work too, so from one WAHM to another–you don’t suck. You do what needs to be done — then catch up, re-evaluate, re-group. xoxo
THANK YOU! Do you have any pointers for maintaining sanity? I’m ready to throw in the towel at work, but since it’s winter and we need heat, that’s not really an option..
Aw, you are not “sucky” in the least! Give yourself some grace. And even though you’re working in the next room, I’m sure your kids find solace in having access to mommy. Hugs and kisses will definitely help take the edge off! 🙂
I love your suggestion to give myself some “grace.” I was anticipating “a break” at the end of that sentence and the word grace really made me stop and think about what it is I need to do in order to obtain said grace. You’ve given me some brain candy–thank you 🙂
Wow, I admire your devotion to your kids and your job–it sounds like you are doing the very best you can. I hope you keep finding ways to maintain the balance you seek, and that you can keep sacred boundaries around your “just with the kids” time!
As for the reunion–I missed my high school’s 10th because I had just given birth and I lived over a thousand miles away. My 20th (gasp) is coming up in a few years, and I would like to go…sadly, I have a feeling that the type of behavior you described is universal. Happily, most people have done at least a little bit of growing up, and those are the ones with whom I’m excited to catch up and see in person.
You’re so kind! Thank you for your comment 🙂 And as for reuniting…eh, Facebook is just as good!!
I agree that Facebook has kept me content with the amount of catching up I get to do with friends from college and high school. I am glad, though, that my two very best friends and I still make it a point to see each other somehow at least once a year…I’m in FL with my family, one is in Maryland with a job and toddler twins, and the other is in Boston with a husband and a thesis to write! It’s a miracle whenever we are all three together, but it is soooo worth it.
Good for you girls!!!!!! Geography is no match for great gal pals!
I’m with you on the working and staying home. I’m coming to the end of a really sucky project and going right into another at the moment. Ugh. I feel the guilt sometimes, but I’m sure you spend plenty of quality time with the kiddos. It just SEEMS like work takes over. Plus when they’re used to ALL of your time they tend to notice when you’re busy with other things. My lazy class has NEVER had a reunion! Maybe I don’t care so much 🙂
You’re probably right about us spending more time with the kids than we think we do. But man, I’m tired!!! My brain doesn’t shut off ALL DAY. If I have an evening meeting, I can barely put a complete sentence together. Everyone I work with probably thinks I’m drunk!
I feel ya. My kids are in daycare/with a sitter, and I come home and have work to do for my job. It’s a tough balance. Not to mention I have a 30 page paper for grad school due in two weeks. Loving life over here 🙂
As good moms, we are so hard on ourselves no matter if we are working full time, part-time, stay at home, stay at home and work from home, homeschooling, etc. No matter our role, we stress out that we aren’t doing enough for our children, not spending enough time with them. Yes that’s what makes us GOOD moms. Don’t you forget it!