Tell Me You Have Children Without Telling Me You Have Children

Ahhh, yes. The ol’ shove alllll the things to the perimeter of the room and call it cleaning. Never fails!

Kids are known for their notoriously questionable decision making. While their underdeveloped prefrontal cortex is to blame for the bulk of their WTF-inducing choices, parents understand it’s our job to guide them in the right direction.

Sometimes the right direction looks modeling healthy eating and regular exercise; other times, it looks like teaching them how to properly use common household items that can otherwise pose a serious threat. Say it with me:

“Do not put foil in the microwave.”
“Do not use that butter knife to fish out your burnt bagel from the toaster.”
“Do not mess with the window cords.”

According to the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission, corded window coverings are ‎one of the top hidden hazards in American homes.‎ When my husband and I decorated the room that would become the nursery for our three children, we chose cordless window coverings. They’re safer for kids, opening and closing like an accordion with a gentle tug:

Twelve years later, these blinds are still in each of our kids’ rooms, and I have peace of mind that no one is trying to swing from or get wrapped up in any cords. Babies just don’t know any better, but as we’ve already established, even though older kids may know better, they don’t always do better. Case in point:

This is my seven-year-old. She insists on disappearing into her own imaginary world underneath our tree. Sometimes she takes a few toys, sometimes she takes a book. All the times she knocks off the bottom third of the ornaments like a feral cat. Does the child know I then pick up each ornament and place it back on the tree at least twice a day? Yes, yes she does. Does she care even a little bit? No, no she does not. It’s fine. Happy Holidays.

Unfortunately, not all our kids’ questionable choices are as benign as my daughter’s annoyingly adorable tree hide-out. Since we can’t put the children in a bubble until their prefrontal cortex is ready for the world, parents can at least do our part to keep our little ankle-biters as safe as possible. As the holidays approach and our homes are hopefully filled with loved ones, let’s make a pact to remove hidden hazards like those dang window cords. If you’re in the market for new window coverings or committed to making a change, look for cordless options clearly marked with the Best for Kids™ certification label.

If you can’t replace them, just make sure the cords are out of reach of little ones. Especially those very little ones who set a bad example with all their shenanigans…