As a mom, it is perfectly natural to feel stressed, tense. At least that’s what The Experts say. After all, we have a lot of responsibility, it’s very important work raising kids, blahblahblah.
Listen, I need everyone to quit celebrating moms for being “so strong” and for our “multi-tasking skills.” We wouldn’t have to be so strong if we had more help, and multi-tasking wouldn’t be a dang survival skill if society had reasonable expectations for women/moms. But I digress…
Sometimes, motherhood feels so overwhelming and that is NORMAL. What is NOT normal is doing all the things for all the people all the time, never asking for help, or pretending things are peachy when they’re not.
Moms, let’s be honest: this is hard. We deserve a reprieve, so let’s try to manage and reduce our stress in a way that makes sense for us and our families.
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Tip One: Prioritize Self-Care
Let’s prioritize self-care. Do something every day just for you. Something as simple as stretching in the morning or sitting in the car for a few extra minutes before returning home can be like hitting a “reset” button in our brains. Taking a minute to catch our breath helps us deal with the challenges that await, and you know they awaitin’.
Other ways to prioritize ourselves: take “micro-breaks” throughout the day; meet a friend for coffee; wake up 15 minutes before the kids and just be; schedule something fun and put that bad boy on the calendar so each time you look at it, you feel excited. Weee!
Tip Two: Streamline the To-Do List
Mama’s, we’ve got to streamline those to-do lists. I know the world’s expectation is that we do everything and with a smile, but absolutely not. The message that we must get everything done every day isn’t sustainable. Focusing on high-priority tasks first helps achieve that sustainability goal. Important appointments, action items with looming deadlines, and a self-care activity during a vulnerable time are all examples of high-priority tasks.
If you can whittle your to-do list down to two or three items, that’s even better. Whether or not it’s possible remains to be seen.
Tip Three: Delegate
Some of us are not good at this. Why? Because we sincerely think things won’t get done the right way and then chaos will ensue. FALSE.
First of all, can we please get over ourselves? Just because we’re used to doing things “our way” doesn’t mean it’s the only or best way. Often times, the trade-off of asking for help vs. things being done differently provides life-changing relief. When I had three small humans, I would fold their underwear and pair their socks. Their little dresser drawers were so tidy and it made my heart happy.
Until it didn’t.
These days? Reclaiming my time is more important than tidy dressers. Undies are now tossed into drawers and I don’t know where the socks are because my kids are responsible for that nonsense now.
Delegate. Ask for help. Tell the people in your life what you need from them. Motherhood isn’t indentured servitude. It’s preparing our children for the real world, and if they graduate from high school not knowing how to pair socks, that’s on us.
Tip Four: Find A Way To Relax When The Kids Go To Bed
Nighttime relaxation looks different for all of us. There are many nights now where my kids tuck me in! Regardless of the how’s or when’s, we all need some “me time” to unwind before sleeping and waking to do it all again the next day.
Many moms find products from sites like CBDistillery help them calm down and relax more. These can affect the stress pathways in the body and reduce them, producing a happier, more natural feeling. Have at it, mamas. Others swear by soaking in a bath, reading a good book, or lighting a candle for some sexy time. Others, namely husbands, report not needing any kind of unwinding because they’re asleep as soon as their rude heads hit the pillow.
Tip Five: Set Boundaries with Tech
Another common stress-tackling tactic is setting tech boundaries. Restricting the use of tech throughout the day, but especially at bedtime, is enormously helpful.
Many of us get into the habit of using our phones during every spare moment. This leaves very little time to be with our own thoughts or to enjoy a mental time-out. Sometimes, spare moments will run over into other moments and we find we’ve just wasted 30 minutes scrolling Instagram reels instead of doing that thing on our to-do list. Ooops.
Science shows blue light interferes with sleep patterns and I don’t know about you, but my perimenopausal self doesn’t need one more thing interfering with my sleep. I’ve actually started turning off notifications after 10PM and before 7AM. This was really hard for my Type A personality, but it has prevented me from grabbing up my phone when I should be sleeping.
Tip Six: Celebrate Your Wins
Some of you may find this silly, but reduce stress and keep yourself going by celebrating small wins. Keeping a journal of the things that went well, made us happy, or gave us hope can remind us that, however stressful, this motherhood stuff is still worth it.
Tip Six and a Half: Treat Yourself
People will argue that treating ourselves is the same thing as prioritizing self-care. I ignore those people. Treating ourselves to something unnecessary is often exactly what we need and, dare I say, what we deserve. Do I need another pair of sunglasses? No, but will those $25 oversized blue shades bring me joy? YES! Buy yourself flowers, invest in another tube of lip gloss because you can, splurge on those new shoes, DO THE THING! I’m a firm believer that little treats reinforce the behavior we want to see more of, so you wanna be a less stressed mom? TREAT YO’SELF. My dog approves this message.
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