Public Service Announcement

Divorce. Drugs. Violence. Television. Video games. Sex. Rap music.

These are factors that “the experts” have contributed to the decline of our youth. As a high school teacher, I can confirm that rap music is definitely at fault for some ridiculous fashion statements. Seriously kids, pull up your damn pants. But to say that it has ruined an entire generation? Probably not. If my parents pointed their fingers at Run D.M.C. every time I got mouthy, that would have been a cop-out. And it wasn’t Donkey Kong that forced me to shove my brother, splitting open his forehead, when we were kids. It was ME. Had he not  jumped on my bed as I was perfecting my Smurfs coloring masterpiece, then perhaps I wouldn’t have resorted to physical tactics. He deserved every stitch.

We are blaming all of the wrong things. Jersey Shore makes us stupid, not bad people. We need to look at the root cause of why today’s kids are in a downward spiral. WHY are they disrespecting their elders, not taking their education seriously, and experimenting with drugs and alcohol at such young ages?

The answer is simple: Play-doh.

My 3-year-old received this as a birthday gift:

 

Seems innocent enough, right? Let’s take a closer look:

 

Yeah, that’s right. We have the good people at Hasbro to thank for ruining our kids. At least Snoop Dogg is off the hook.

If you care about the children of this country (and wherever Hasbro toys are made and sold; I’m assuming China mostly), it is your civil duty to report these Play-Doh perversions. We must work together to have all of these “ice cream cone” molds taken off the market in order to save the future of America and preserve what is left of childhood innocence.

Or buy your own mold, make as many of these “cones” as you can, and then send them to Jerry Sandusky. I imagine he’s pretty sore bored right about now.