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I Hate Halloween, But…

By Stephanie Jankowski Leave a Comment

I’ve never been excited about putting on a mask and trying to scare someone. Or, more specifically, someone putting on a mask and trying to scare ME. The mere mention of clowns is enough to send me into a tizzy (I’m a treat at the circus), and I don’t do well with horror movies. I’d much rather a dramatic love story or a historical account of something where no one grows fangs or eats another person’s face.

I’m just a romantic, I guess.

As a child, these feelings put me at odds with Halloween. I trudged through my neighborhood only for the promise of a king-sized KitKat, but I was never thrilled about the costumes. In college, when other girls dressed as slutty nurses or skanky , I was the gal rocking a baseball hat claiming to be a character from A League of Her Own.

Now, as a parent of three little ones who are OHMYGOD SO EXCITED for Halloween, I grin and bear it. For them, I pretend to love this dastardly day whose only redeeming quality is the sugary goodness stuffed deep into pillow cases or, if you’re a better mother than I, into the monogrammed bags you had made special for annual Trick-or-Treating excursions.

And as October 31st chugs steadily toward us once again, I’ve taken it upon myself to be a team player and celebrate the day as only a naysayer would: I’ve thrown together a list of the top 10 Halloween-themed activities my beautiful city of Pittsburgh has to offer, and while I’m sure in hell not attending any of them, you go on without me. ENJOY!

 

Top 10 Spooktacular Events in Pittsburgh

 

  1. October 1 – October 31, 7:00 p.m. & 9:00 p.m., $25/person
    Terror Trolley Tour
    at Station Square
    A storytelling tour that recounts the horrors of Pittsburgh past. I like stories, I don’t like horror. I’m out.
  2. October 19 – October 31, times vary, $2 members and students; $8 non-members
    Laser Halloween
    at Carnegie Science Center
    It’s a party for every age! Come get your Monster Mash on with familiar faces like the Ghost Busters and Beetlejuice! Okay, this one I could do.
  3. Friday, October 23, 7 p.m. (Tours run from 90 minutes to 2 hours), $15
    Haunted Pittsburgh Ghost Tour
    at City-County Building
    If scaring yourself silly sounds like fun, this walking tour through Pittsburgh’s dark side is for you. I will not be there.
  4. October 23 – October 24, 6:00 p.m. – 9:30 a.m., $35/person
    Spooky Science Sleepover
    at Carnegie Science Center
    Not everyone can say they’ve slept at the Science Center! A laser show, science experiments, and a late-night snack are only some of the reasons you need to make your reservation today. They had me at snack.

 

Click HERE or the graphic below for the rest of the list!

10 spooktacular and affordable Halloween events in and around the Pittsburgh area

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Hiya! I'm Steph, English teacher by trade, smack-talker by nature, and mother of three who lives by the mantra: life is too short, LAUGH! I hope you'll stick around and check out my musings!

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