Dear Husband…

Our 6-year wedding anniversary is just around the corner and I have a few things I want to tell you before we hit yet another milestone as husband and wife.

You work so hard. I complain that you’re never home and it’s not because I don’t appreciate what you do for us; it’s because I miss you.  We’re a great team and the day is better when you’re around. Plus, I do not enjoy changing all of the poopie diapers myself; when you’re not here, there’s no one to rock, paper, scissors it with. Sharing is caring.

I don’t know if you notice it, but your son wants to be you. You have really made an impact on him; I can “see” you in his every move. His golf swing, his passion for learning, his easy-going nature–that’s all from you. I know how lucky Brady is to have you as a role model. There are certainly fathers out there that should have to pass a test before reproducing. Thank God you’re not one of them.

You are the mold for Ella’s future boyfriends. I’m sure she’ll rage against the machine and bring home a few losers (when she does this, let’s make a pact not to stress about it–that will validate her and she’ll bring home MORE losers), but when it comes time for her to find Mr. Right, she’s going to require that he has the qualities she loves about you: a good sense of humor, intelligence, faith. I know that if her husband has values like you, she’s in good hands. Although I am secretly hoping she finds a nice Italian boy so she doesn’t have to eat sauerkraut with every meal, but hey–to each her own.

I trust you with my life. There are some wives who can’t say that because their husbands suck. I don’t know what that feels like because you are so loyal, so true. I know that you would do anything for me, our kids, our life together. So I ask this of you: please don’t make us listen to classic rock the entire way to the beach. I know we don’t necessarily share a love of the same genre of music, but I feel like if I’m driving, then I should be in charge of the radio. It’s only fair.

Before we got married, you told me you didn’t believe in divorce. You said I was stuck with you no matter what. As people around us, married for less time than we have been, struggle through their challenges and ultimately give up, your words echo in my ears: “stuck with you…” I appreciate the sentiment of your commitment and I promise that I will do my part to uphold us better or for worse, but I swear on the holy Bible that if you don’t start flushing the toilet, you will be begging me to leave. Begging.

You’re the kind of guy who inspires others. You lead by example, and your words are powerful. I think this is why you’re such an amazing teacher, and I know this is why you’re such an amazing landscaper/grass cutter/dandelion killer. I don’t say it enough, but our lawn is immaculate. The unspoken competition you and the neighbor have going for the greenest grass is a bit ridiculous, but it makes you happy, so whatever. If it could help pay the bills or cook dinner or something, I would care about it a lot more.

In sum, I kinda like you. You’re kind. You’re honest. You’re tan all year round which really irks me because I look so pale standing next to you in Christmas photos. I love your smile. I love your laugh. I love that you’re constantly fidgeting with your wedding band like you’re contemplating “losing” it so you don’t have to wear “girlie” jewelry any more. So help me, if you lose that thing…You’re a special guy, and the church says that I should honor you, so that’s what I’m doing. It’s a few days early, but happy 6 years to us! Here’s hoping we have many, many more! Here’s also hoping that you quit farting in your sleep because I will banish you to the couch. Do not test me.