Anne Hathaway is my Homey. But Not Really.

Good Thursday to you!

My girl Angela is back to explain her obsession with admiration for Anne Hathaway. Please note that I do not condone such behavior, as I find Ms. Hathaway pretentious and I want to flick her in the eyeball every time she giggles, but, hey, that’s just one girl’s opinion. Now back to the regularly scheduled Angela who does, in fact, appreciate Anne’s torpedo nipples…

Steph has promised an entire post on my love of A.H., so here goes nothing.

As documented in my previous guest-spot (or rather, in response to the questions that followed), I have included “being friends with Anne Hathaway” on my Bucket List.

In truth, my honest intention would be to date Anne Hathaway, but she is married, I am married and she is straight. All totally surmountable technicalities, but I’m a busy woman. I’d settle for being her pen-pal, really.

How did this happen? Not sure.

Part of it is undoubtedly due to the fact that I use TMZ.com as a primary news source. You may laugh, but you can impress your friends and neighbors with knowledge of random celebrity facts. I’m a hit at team trivia night and the lyrics to We Didn’t Start the Fire has bailed me out of many a historical sequencing jam. Also, if being a lawyer hits the skids, I could always do nails.

(Side bar: I stopped going to a nails place because the ladies there wouldn’t watch or talk about anything other than Basketball Wives. Aint’ nobody got time for that.).

 

 But I digress… so, here, in no particular order, are the reasons

I love Anne Hathaway:

1. She’s pretty. (Look, I said it was in no order…). Love her or hate her, she’s a looker. Admit it. Even the shit she does wrong (read: nipple-gate), is oh so right.

2. She seems smart. Do I know this for sure? No. Still, she did dump that one guy when she found out he was being federally indicted. Also, if you Google “Anne Hathaway Quotes,” you find this gem on brainyquote.com:

I have no aspirations of world domination
through the pop charts. None at all.

Anne Hathaway

Smart as a WHIP, she is.

3. She shot a film in Pittsburgh. I actually gazed from my office window for weeks (not constantly, but pretty close) trying to catch a glimpse of the Cat Woman Mobile (or whatever) zipping by. Pint-sized as she would have been from the 17th floor, it would have been great. No dice. Next time, Anne. Next time.

4. Her dad went to law school with one of my friends. This is, of course, apropos of nothing, but I’ve placed this tidbit in my arsenal of ice breakers for when I meet Anne in person.

5. I’ve already run out of reasons. I was going to go with nipple-gate as a reason. Or, perhaps, grace in dealing with nipple-gate. No? I guess it’s really just reason # 1. I’m a shallow sad little person with a near-meaningless life. The good news is, I can be on my own defense team if she catches wind of this post.