I have been a Work At Home Mom (WAHM)* for almost four years. It was totally my decision to stay home, and I am beyond blessed to have the opportunity, but real talk: it’s hard!
*Work at Home Dads, this one is for you, too!
Once, in response to a Facebook status that my house was a disaster, a “friend” remarked, “Well you do work from home, isn’t it easier?” I resisted the urge to spit fire at her and politely responded that there is NOTHING easy about working two full-time jobs simultaneously, especially when one of them is raising kids.
I am far from an expert when it comes to juggling work and children, but colleagues who have just started their families have asked me for tips. I’m sharing the same tips with you because there are far too many people like my Facebook “friend” who believe being a WAHM is a cake walk. Keep in mind that my kids are just about two and four, so you may need to tweak a few of these.
1. Enlist help. At least for a few hours a week, hire someone to HELP you. Help comes in many forms: babysitting, house cleaning, meal prep–whatever! If you don’t have the coinage to pay for said help, offer to swap services. Can your neighbor hang with your kids for a few hours on a Wednesday so you can make phone calls or attend virtual meetings? Offering to return the favor on the weekend, thereby allowing her a date night with the hubs, will stack the deck in your favor.
2. Admit defeat. If whatever you’re currently doing isn’t working, own up to it. And then change it. I tried like crazy to stay in grad school while parenting while working while…you get the picture. Something had to give. It may take me 15 years to complete my Masters, but that’s a small price to pay for saving my sanity.
3. Have a plan. If I have to present or attend a live meeting with my kids in tow, I break out The Box o’ Stuff. The box contains toys, games, and/or DVDs that they’ve never seen before, or rarely get to play with. The novelty keeps them occupied, and it allows me to look somewhat professional while interacting with my colleagues. Word to the wise: make sure toys and games are age-appropriate; otherwise, your plan will backfire when your kids ask for your help opening 10 cans of Playdoh.
4.Be realistic. I know my kids’ average attention spans are proportionate to their ages. My two-year old is interested in something for about two minutes. I liken this to my attention span when my husband insists we tune in to The Masters (live from Augusta! nobody cares). Anyway, if you need a big chunk of time to dedicate to work, chances are you’re not going to get it while the kiddos are with you. Refer to #1 and ask for help or…
5. Wake up. I thought I was a morning person until morning meant a naked preschooler demanding breakfast at 4:30am. I now choose to work into the evening rather than begin my day so ungodly early. To each her own.
6. Set a timer. I actually do this on the days that my kids go to the babysitter’s (twice a week). I will check and respond to email for thirty minutes, DING! Assess and return student work for an hour, DING! Throw some dirty clothes in the washer and fold the clean ones for fifteen minutes, DING!
7. MOVE! Working from home more than likely means working at a computer. You don’t need me telling you why it’s bad to remain stationary all day. Sit on one of those fancy exercise balls, stand up while you type, and take frequent breaks to stretch, AKA: chase after the child who is trying to ride the dog like a pony.
8. Include the wee ones. My kids want to do what I’m doing, so I’ve set them up in their own little office, laptop on desk, sippy cup in hand. We work together for as long as they’re interested. If I get lucky, playing pretend Work Like Mommy evolves into another game and they amuse each other for even longer!
9. Change the scenery. Is it possible to work outside while your kids run themselves ragged? Can you set up shop at the park for an afternoon? The kids will think it’s an adventure, so you score Cool Points in their book AND a chance to be semi-productive.
10. Schedule YOU time. My husband can attest to the Breaking Point of 2012: I had had enough of changing diapers, returning phone calls, taking meetings, making lunches, and trying to do it all with a smile on my face. I realized I needed ME time. If you think that makes me a bad mom, it’s cool, I’m not offended. But you’re a dummy. My husband would take over parenting duties for just 30 minutes so I could gather my thoughts, which were usually all over the floor with the crayons and Legos. Sometimes I used my minutes to take a relaxing bath, sometimes I read, other times I ignored everyone because I could. And it was glorious. Communicating my needs and making sure I had time for ME helped more than anything. The saying if Mama ain’t happy, then nobody happy is true, pals. Make yourself a priority and life will get a little easier.
Do you work from home? Have any more tips? Sharing is caring–leave’em in the comments below! And don’t forget to follow my crazy on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest for more fun. Fun like the SCARY MOMMY BOOK GIVEAWAY. What?! You don’t know what I’m talking about?!! Click HERE to find out more!
This is awesome! OK, first “a naked preschooler demanding breakfast at 4:30 a.m.” gave me the out loud but still quiet snicker. It is naptime, after all. I love your ideas- including them in work, the “Box” for meetings, and setting a timer. The timer is SO essential for me. When I say essential, I mean that I should really do it. I think I may have been sitting here reading blogs for the past hour, but I’m really not sure. :/
I get sucked into reading, too, Stephanie! That’s one of the reasons I’ve had to implement the timer. Otherwise, I’ll forget I have kids AND a job and just read blogs all day!!!
Oh honey, I could have written this, word for word. Me time, check. Babysitter, check. Working late evening, check. And yes, it does annoy me when people think we have it easier just because we stay at home because you know, kids aren’t work at all. Unpaid work is still work, people.
I do like your timer tips though. I will use that from now. Sometimes I do get sucked in doing one task and totally neglect the others. Great tips all!
We have kids of the same age too. At the end of the day, I’m mush. So yes, I totally get it.
Hey, Justine! You said it best: unpaid work is still work! AMEN, sister! Good luck with your little ones; they’re adorable yet such an obstacle to productivity! 😉
Okay, first of all, the Augusta comment made me laugh. My husband was watching the game yesterday and I asked, “how long until it’s over?” and he said, “I don’t know…4 hours?” and I almost died.
Next, I loved this. So, so much. Because I think it also applies to the SAHM role to a certain extent. I’m obviously not scheduling meetings and working (unless you consider my blog working – ha!), but I am finally reaching that point where I know my limits and that I need a bit of help once in a while. But just like you’ve described here, I’ve found it doesn’t need to be A LOT of help. 30 minutes can do me WONDERS.
Most of the time…
AWESOME POST!
I definitely consider your blog work–you put so much time into it!! And helloooo?! You’re PUBLISHED! Anyhoo, you’re right about the SAHM role, too; it’s all about time management.
How ’bout that sudden death match to end the Masters? Riveting, no? Really, no.
I have to agree with the masses that this is really a wonderful post and couldn’t help, but laugh about the naked toddler, too. Seriously, why is that they get up at such ungodly hours. But your tips here were truly so on the money and thank you for sharing!!
I’ve no idea why toddlers feel the need to wake with the sun. But if I can bottle their energy and sell it, I plan to drop about 30 pounds and then retire a gazillionaire!
The best decision I ever made was to hire someone to come and clean the house every two weeks. Then when it’s destroyed the next day, I can deal with it by saying “well, it will look nice again in 13 days.” Has alleviated a ton of stress. And I am also a fan of “me time” because otherwise it would be “crazy time all the time.”
AMEN! I have a lovely lady who comes twice a month and it makes a world of difference! Now if I can just find someone to cook for me…
Dude. I can’t even imagine. Working from home, with KIDS there, sounds like my own personal hell. You’re superwoman.
HA!!!!! It’s definitely not easy, but it’s worth it. And you, my friend, are Superwoman, too. In book, all mothers are! 😉
Perfect timing! I just spent a week in Texas while the kids took Iowa testing at their old school. When asked to volunteer for the week setting up their annual fundraiser, I declined, saying with my kids in school ALL day for a week I was on vacation! The comments fired at me, jokingly and not so jokingly, were all about how I’m always on vacation since I homeschool on a tropical island. People just don’t get it. You’ve shared some great tips here. The box of stuff came in handy often when my kids were younger. I set them up with their laptops now, and they “blog” while I blog. 😉 I like the timer idea! Gonna try it! Thanks!
Anyone who thinks homeschooling–regardless of WHERE–is a vacation clearly has NO idea what it’s all about! You’re MY hero for being a mom/teacher to your kids. Now that is something I could never do!
This is awesome!! I find that most people don’t give me the “but you work from home so isn’t it easier” so much as I give myself the “I work from home os I shouldn’t complain.” But you are sooo right! This is not easy. What saved me was realizing that it was ok for my son to watch more t.v. than he older brother did at this age. Of course that didn’t mean I let him sit in front of the boob tube for 2 hours while I worked. But if played and worked next to me for an hour and then just couldnt’ do it any longer without one of us ending up screaming and in tears, I let him watch Dora or Diego for an hour. Then I could finish and we could head out to do more kid-friendly stuff. I reminded myself that nothing was the end of the world. His life was different from my first son’s because he is a different kid and life is different. And that’s ok!
vicky
http://www.thepursuitofnormal.blogspot.com
So true, Vicky–I think we expect more of ourselves because we’re home: dishes should be washed, laundry folded, etc. We should lighten up and just take a nap 😉 Bahahaha! Like there’s time for that!
Okay, of course I am amazed that you work from home because I find it enough of a battle just taking care of the kids let alone actually having to do something of a professional nature that includes deadlines. I can see failure for me written all over that. But what is even more amazing is that you blog….and it’s good stuff….and you read other people’s blogs…and comment on them! Oh my goodness I feel really bad that you are wasting your precious time reading my stupid blog!
Get outta here!! I only read what I love!
My husband isn’t exactly a model dad sometimes. He’s usually crabby when he gets home, and if the kids are rubbing him the wrong way he either a) yells or b) sends them to their rooms to play. Terrible, isn’t it? And I trying to Ms SuperMommy or something I would not go do me time because I felt guilty for leaving them with their crabby daddy. I’m getting better about it. Every Monday and Thursday I leave when he walks in the door and head to the gym, that really helps me out. Considering he doesn’t exactly help out around the house, that’s worth it to me!
Sorry to hear that you don’t have the help at home, Sarah 🙁 I’m sure those precious hours at the gym help you recharge. Wish I lived closer; I would forgo all those silly tips about not sharing babysitters and we could go have a drink together!
I am always in awe of work at home moms. I don’t know how you do it all!! I couldn’t get anything done with two little ones to care for! You amaze me. 🙂
I don’t think I could do it without help, Chris! And a few good blog posts to read each morning–thanks for those 🙂
Yes, yes, and YESSSS!!! You know I’m a WAHM as well and it is beyond TOUGH. These are excellent tips. I don’t think I could have written that first part as nicely as you did. I get very angry when people say things to me to the effect that I “have it easy.” Great post! K, have to go work now 🙂
I definitely wanted to say more to the idiot who told me it should be easier to keep up my house, but my in-laws read my FB page so I thought it best to keep it PG-13 🙂
These were spot on Steph. Now that Mason is a little older, it’s obviously a lot easier now because he is self sufficient. But I make sure that my “live” meetings and calls are scheduled (as much as possible) during the time when he is in school. Even when he comes home, I make sure we have at least an hour to hang out, talk about his day, etc. I find the biggest issue I have is with family members who want me to make this call, run this errand, look this up because after all, I’m “home all day”. It can be pretty aggravating.
UGH!! That is the WORST!!! My mother–and I love her–calls EVERY day at least three times a day and always begins the conversation with, “I know you’re busy, but…” I have lost my cool a few times and asked her to PLEASE stop calling, promising that I would call her when I could, but to no avail. ARGH!!!
I work from home and even without kids underfoot think the first rule should be to ‘Admit Defeat’. So funny.
Ahahahahaha!!!! I should definitely renumber the list 🙂
I meant to reply to this but I got distracted – because when you work from home, distractions are easy. I go to make a coffee and think I’ll just empty the dishwasher while I am there, which makes me notice how dirty the cupboard doors are. While cleaning them, I figure I may as well mop the floor, but then the dog whines to go out, so off we go for a wee. Then I think I should get some work done, but realise I didn’t make my coffee, so back to the kitchen I go, where I trip over the mop . . .
Routine is important. I get up, get the kitchen tidy while the kids have breaky, drop them at schools and nurseries or grandparents, walk the dog and sit down to work by 10am every morning. I browse at night, I blog at weekends – if I can. Well – that’s the aim anyway. Oops, is it Tuesday today!
Oh, Piper–you said it best!! I totally get distracted by stuff like dirty floors or random tasks. I think I have ADD brought on my working at home!!
I WFH too, but I send my kids elsewhere during the day, 9-4, so I can get my work done. I don’t think I would get anything done during the day with them here. I have found that since I’m home full time working, I’m always “on duty” and I’m getting totally burnt out. And my husband goes to work worry free … he leaves before the kids get up in the morning, and comes home after dinner, after bath and just in time for bed. I’m begining to really, really resent him. Three things I do NOT do when I’m home working: 1) clean the house 2) empty the dishwasher 3) do laundry! Because the hubby’s gotta have something to do! 🙂
Eileen, I so appreciate your honesty! I was getting pissed off at my husband, too, because his job doesn’t entail keeping small people ALIVE during the day! That said, I reminded myself I chose to stay home and had to figure out a system that worked for me. Once the man is back in the house, he’s on the clock, too! I suggest (not that you asked!) communicating exactly what you need in terms of help and expectations, and hopefully the waters will calm a bit. Hugs, Mama!
Do you mean on the clock as soon as he walks in the door? B/C I’m down with that; tho when the hubby comes home he says he needs some time to unwind, eat dinner, chill out — it’s at that very moment of every day that my children learn all new curse words!! #notashamed
You’re my new friend, Eileen 🙂
I sometimes throw both children at my husband before he even takes off his shoes. My logic: he got to indulge in adult conversation AND a lunch break at work. Me? Not so much. 30 minutes of down time helps me be a better mom, wife, and keeps me out of a padded room. Everyone wins, right? 😉
Because I have my own little study, sometimes I leave the kids watching TV with him when he gets in and sits down – and then stay there until he gets the hint that they need taking to bed! 🙂
I love it! I once left our very colicy screaming baby — safely secure in a vibrating seat of course — outside the closed door of our home office, which he was occupying. I called him from the car to inform him that I was no longer in the house. Best two hours ever, I laughed all the way to the gym.
Oh and last week I re-programmed his phone so that his ring tone was David Hasselhoff singing “Jump in my Car.” (If you haven’t already exposed yourself to the sweet sound of the “hoff” I highly recommend you do so. now.) Every week I check his calendar to find out when he’s in a staff meeting and call him. Never. Fails.
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