Lent is a 40-day celebration of giving up sex and good food.
Okay, so that’s not exactly accurate.
Lent is the 40 days leading up to Easter that commemorate the time Jesus spent in the desert, lured by Satan’s constant temptation. I’m guessing that’s why so many Christians give up desserts during Lent; they equate indulgence with temptation. Because, you know, Jesus just wanted a cookie while He was chilling in the hot sun preparing to die for our sins.
I’m not putting those who ban desserts down; in fact, I was among them for the majority of my Lenten experience. It wasn’t until recently that I recalled a memory from my childhood and decided that I wanted to change how I roll for these 40 days and then some.
I couldn’t have been more than five. I was either paying attention in church (unlikely) or overheard a conversation that included details of Christ’s death. I asked my parents about it and my dad briefly explained that Jesus was crucified because He loved me. Yeah, okay. You try explaining that to a little girl who thought snow boots and a sundress made a great outfit.
So, I cried because death is sad.
I vividly remember my dad lifting me onto our kitchen counter so we were eye-to-eye. He said, “It’s not sad. It’s actually happy. Jesus came back to life on Easter Sunday, and that’s why we celebrate Easter.”
SAY WHAT, NOW?!
My mind was blown.
I was too young to understand the heaviness of Jesus dying for my sins, so for most of my life, I thought denying myself the things I enjoyed but didn’t need was the best way to acknowledge Lent. There were a few years that I tried to do less bad things, like curse (fail) or more good things, like volunteer my time to those who needed it.
This year, though, I’m taking a different approach. In honor of my glass-is-half-full husband and beautiful healthy kids, I’m trying to live up to Project Optimism’s standards every day of the week, not just Mondays. I have zero patience on a good day, so I thought it only right (and fair to those who are forced to interact with me) to try and be a better person. Rather than flying off the handle, as I do so well, I’m going to take a deep breath or six and think before I speak. When I do speak, it will be in a kind tone with minimal eye rolls. And I will quit using sarcasm around my kids because when they give it back to me, it just sound so bad coming from their tiny voices.
In light of some recent frustrations this week, I’ve really been put to the test. I have succeeded at times, and outright failed other times. I prayed for extra patience and grace at church, and begged my children to not push me to the brink. In response, my son woke me at 6:45 this morning by yanking my hair and emphatically informing me, “I am ready to go downstairs.” I wanted to yell, “Then walk down the damn stairs!” But I refrained. Score.
I know Jesus is going to have a few good laughs while I try to maintain calm, but that’s okay. I think I owe Him.
I am doing something similar. I did give up fast food because it is definitely an effort to improve myself physically, but I am also trying hard to be a better person. Patience. She don’t come easy.
Heather, does it make you feel uncomfortable that I consider you, like, a celebrity in my comments? You’ve written a book and you’re amazing. Period. I hope the revision stage is underway and going well! I also hope that you post something new soon; I’m going with withdrawal 😉
Good luck with your fast food ban AND patience endeavor.
I was wondering where you were today! So glad to see you in my inbox this evening. Stephanie, I LOVE your unorthodox approach to Lent. The idea of being more patient with your children and loved ones. I’ve been lacking in this area too. I’m sure Jesus will get a few good laughs during this time, as He does watching all his children. Although I have a feeling you might make Him smile more than most!
Here I am!! I was a little late (had to visit my friend and get a dose of baby holding!), but I’ve been thinking about this Lent “thing” for weeks now, and I really do have to work on the whole patience thing. I’m hoping that 40 days of practice will put me in the position to adopt it for the rest of my life. And that’s where the lots and lots of praying comes in 😉
This is actually really hilarious because your brother just told me today about a time when you were kids and you body slammed him into a bed post WWF style because he disturbed your coloring and he was positive there were times present day that you wanted to relive that experience. I disagreed and said Stephanie would never do anything like that nowadays…he said I didn’t know you very well! I’m happy that at least during Lent you will not be partaking in any shenanigans like this…..right??!!! haha!!!
So my brother is ratting me out, huh? I will refrain from discussing the fact that he was grounded every other week for various infractions and simply defend myself: MY PICTURE COULD HAVE BEEN IN A MUSEUM HAD HE NOT RUINED IT! So maybe that’s a stretch, but I did give him stitches. I felt horrible the second it happened, and it would take MUCH more for me to do it again today. Like his constant 6am text messages about random science facts–that could bring me to the brink… 😉
Pretty sure Jesus would’ve told your child to go down the darn stairs too;) Trust me, I know. I’ve been a Christian for 13 years. Ironically, that’s how long I’ve been married. Coincidence? I think not;) I love your idea- why give up things you love to know what it’s like to suffer? Why not give up the things we do but don’t like to know what it’s like to be free of the bondage of bad habits? That’s what Jesus has taught me over the years. Good luck!
Vicky
Vicky, I agree that Jesus would have preferred my kid to go downstairs rather than pull my hair out by the root. Alas, toddlers just don’t understand 😉 I really like how you said we need to be free of the bondage of bad habits. I actually enjoy some of my bad habits, but that’s only because my perspective needs shifted! Thanks for the new outlook!
I’ve had several people ask me what I’m giving up for Lent. I said “Unemployment”. HA HA-not entirely true but at the same time not false since I’m doing a long term sub job. I like your take on Lent. Optimism is a GREAT thing!
Unemployment definitely counts!!!!! Subbing is not easy–I hope it’s going well for you 🙂
This was so funny and timely for me. I’m Episcopalian (which my Catholic friends refer to as de-Cath – all the religion, none of the guilt) so I have zero history with Fish Fridays, confessions and giving things up. But, my son, who goes to a Catholic school, accidentally became Catholic (oh so that’s what Holy Communion ceremony was about in 2nd grade), so I thought I would embrace Lent as a great period to be a better person. So this year, I’ve decided to bravely give up Sephora. But after reading your post, I have a feeling Jesus is shaking his head somewhere and saying “for reals?”.
Great post!
Your Epsico-pagan friend,
Becca
De-Cath!!! Too funny!
I imagine Sephora is to you what chocolate is to me, and that’s no small sacrifice 😉
Damn girl, that is an aggressive goal! Good luck! Can’t wait to hear about the ups and downs 🙂
It is a bit ballsy, but I can only blame PMS for, like, half of the month, so it’s about time I take some accountability 😉
I really like that Stephanie. And I’m looking forward to hearing about this journey. As for me, I’m giving up “not feeling to…” so for instance, whenever I’m “not feeling to go to work” I’ll make the extra effort to get there on time. (I’ve been early everyday since Lent started! Yay me!!) We’ll see how it goes.
Good for you, Vernette! You’ve had a pretty heavy start to the year, and I admire your positive ‘tude!
I think this is great Stephanie. I am with you on patience and being sarcastic and give you a ton of credit, because I am so not sure I would be able to do this for 40 days without failing miserably, especially if I was woken that early!! Great job really 🙂
Thanks, Janine! I’m sure to have days where I can’t resist some good sarcasm, but I’m going to really try to keep it away from my babies!
I was raised Catholic and Lent was a very big deal… these days, in my post-religious state, I always joke that what I try to give up for Lent is guilt. But I love your concept of… not giving up, but becoming something fuller, better. 🙂
OH THE GUILT! Between being a Catholic AND a Mother, I’m drowning, man! 🙂 I don’t know why I feel the need to wait until Lent to give myself a swift kick in the arse, but it’s actually working out pretty well. *crosses fingers that she didn’t just jinx herself…
My kids kept asking me what I am giving up…nothing. I’ve decided to pray more often throughout the day and I just added a devotional to my nighttime routing. One on parenting that I can force …ahem I mean…encourage my husband to participate in since I read it aloud when we settle into bed for the evening. Here’s to shifting our perspectives!
That’s a great idea–a prayer/devotional to read with the husband, rather than muse over during dinner when he’s not paying attention to anything I’m saying. Good plan, Christine 😉 And THANK YOU for the header compliment!
PS….I’m digging the new header!
I tried to get my husband to give up asking for sex for 40 days. He reminded me that while I may be catholic he is not. Oh well, it was worth a try.
This is fantastic!!!! He could always take one for the Catholic team 😉