One of the nicest bloggers around is here today to Overshare. If you don’t know Joy from Comfytown Chronicles, you’re missing out on a real sweetheart. She’s kind, supportive, and willing to admit that she just may be lazy enough to need a DVR butler. As a woman who wants to hire someone to put away her folded laundry so the mountain of clean socks doesn’t topple and bury a child or family pet, I can relate. Joy is my kind of people.
I need a bigger DVR, or at least a DVR Butler. Is that a thing? If it’s free, it should be. Mine is ALWAYS FULL. I know that you can prioritize, and set stuff to be auto erased when you need space, and set your GOOD shit to save until you MANUALLY delete it. I just never seem to actually WATCH the stuff I do record. I mean it’s TV, it’s all crap.
Except my cooking show, The Chew. This show is the bomb diggity but I don’t seem to be mentally penciling it into my day. Yeah yeah “pound-sign-FirstWorldProblems,” I get it. But that is where I live, I’m allowed 1st World Problems. Besides, what do YOU rant about? Litter? That sounds like a fun fricking read.
Every few days I get a message that it’s almost full and I have to “clear it out” and figure out what can go, only to get it ALL THE WAY DOWN to 40%. That’s because it’s always at LEAST 40% full of Sesame Street. Wait, wait, simmer down, it’s MOSTLY just a pre-bed/naptime ritual. TV’s off most of the day. A lot–SOME of the day. I do play music and talk radio. (Honey, I get lonely. These babies do NOT get me.)
So I go in to the DVR and look at what is clogging up my shit.
Standard 5 or so episodes of Adventure Time, that’s gold. Most of those can stay. Not for the kids, the teenager and I effing LOVE THAT CARTOON.
There is a unicorn made of rainbow so if you don’t like Adventure Time? There is NO HOPE for your black, dead SOUL. Die in a fire. As they say.
There are usually also some Law & Order, mostly SVU because let’s not even mess around. I can never tell from the title if I’ve seen them, they all sound the same, so when I get a minute I start watching and go “Oh yeah, saw it,” and I can delete it, but I don’t always do that.
Toy Story 3 from Disney Channel has been on the DVR since November. How do I know? Because there’s a commercial for a Disney show with the words “Honey I shrunk the turkey!” My 3 yr old does a kick-ass impression of it.
The movie has commercials and takes up a LOT of room, but shit that’s gotta stay. We LOVE that movie. I should buy it. But I never do. That stays.
Then there are those crazy-ass shows my teenager records and tries to pawn off as funny. Your Duck Dynasty and whatnot.
Shutup, watch the Christmas one where Si is dressed like an ELF. I don’t CERR who ya ERR, that’s funny RAIGHT THERR.
Hey, he’s a teenager so at this point? That’s bonding right there. You wait and see. Anyway, if there are tons of those, the older ones can go.
Then we have the memory sucker, those 20 episodes of Sesame Street. Thing is, we mostly just watch the last 10-15 minutes, Elmo’s World. We try to only save the BEST ones. Don’t act like you don’t critique that shit. The camera one? Hilarious. The girl’s baby sister looks like she’s in a COMA and the mom? Don’t get my husband started.
We all get the “Doctor” song stuck in our heads for days. That is my daughter’s JAM. But we have a bitch of a time remembering which episode has which Elmo on it. WHY is there NOT a mothereffing APP FOR THAT?
If the DVR Butler could clear the ones we hate, and the rest of the episode out (and leave Bert & Ernie and Super Grover 2.0 b/c my toddler LOVES that shit) everything else? Can go. Unless it’s cool visual counting or letters. I like to force that into her brain.
>I know they have Elmo on DVD but that costs MONEY, and we get them from the library and all that, I just have a tough time returning library movies on time.
Sooo I just keep some on the DVR. It’s also a lot easier and in case you’re new here, we’re all about that. To fire up the DVR you need what my Lola calls the “grey mote” (GREY universal remote) which we have two of. Those big ole S*H*I*N*Y things are like Visa, they’re everywhere you want to be. Boom. Right there. If they’re out of reach, Lola will run like Speedy Gonzalez and get one and fetch it for you.
To fire up the DVD or Netflix you need the elusive “black mote,” and that shit is ninja.
Maybe because it’s black and our recliners are dark brown, I don’t KNOW, but it’s hard to pin down.Yes. I DO know how LAZY this makes me sound, you don’t have to tell me. I’m sitting on my hams right now typing about finding television remotes. Know what YOU are doing right now? Sitting on your hams READING about television remotes. So we belong together.
This post was originally published on ComfyTown Chronicles, a Breaking Mom-ish blog. It’s about weird kids, day drinking, cussing, binge eating and other things I won’t go to meetings for. If that’s not enough reason to love Joy, I’ll give you three more: she’s waiting for you on Pinterest, Facebook, and Twitter.
Oh it’s so funny because it’s TRUE!!!…but you have to get yourself some TV “On Demand” so you don’t have to record shit like kids cartoons. This is a MUST HAVE!!!
YES! I do love OnDemand! They don’t have everything (yet) but that would help SO MUCH!
Crystal Green says
My DVR is always filled up with my shows. However, every so often I go to my list and see my kids have tried to sneak to record a show they are watching. My DVR is currently at 80% full, and I have loads more shows coming on TV this week that I’ve got set up to record. I don’t remember when the last time it’s been empty.
I love how you save things that are funny and for your kids.
hahaha that’s EXACTLY what my teenager does with “Duck Dynasty” and he used to record EVERY SINGLE EPISODE of “Fantasy Factory.” I mean, how many times can you watch grown men skateboard into foam?? 🙂
Jen--Real Life Parenting says
I may or may not have just whittled my DVR down to 39%. Because Biggest Loser starts tonight, and I don’t want to miss any of that shit!
Nice! Good job. This is what I need to do. I had to cancel some series recordings we weren’t watching. We liked Grimm, but we never have time to watch it right now. Hopefully we will catch it on Netflix or something when the kids are older.
MY DVR is probably 1/2 full of It’s a BIG BIG World. A totally awesome show that used to be on PBS that my daughter loved when she was a baby. It hurts my heart to delete it so for at least nearly 2 years I haven’t. It’s HARD to let go of baby things. Sniffle…
I KNOW! My 3 1/2 yr old is already telling me “Elmo is for the baby.” Boooo 🙁
Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 says
I’m ALL about the SVU. And I’m looking forward to Adventure Time. My son keeps asking when he’ll be old enough to watch it… What’s your take? Common Sense Media always skews ridiculously old. I bet they’d say Sesame Street is too violent for anyone under nine.
I watch Adventure Time with my girls, but they are too little to know what’s going on. AT has vampires and things some kids might be afraid of. There is talk of things like the spanking of hams. That doesn’t bother me, but some parents and schools might not be a big fan of that.
Jenn @ Something Clever 2.0 says
Ooh, maybe I’ll give it a try, then. My kid is fearless.
Nicely done on the fearless factor. Then you should be good, you may just want to remind him that when they talk about “spanking hams” he probably shouldn’t do that at school 🙂
Mine doesn’t show %, it does say I have 5hrs 44mins of free space for HD, and
36hrs 28mins for SD. I still have stuff from 2 yrs ago that my son watches. Most of it is movies and shows that I won’t watch without my boyfriend, and a couple of his shows ( bc I’m nice and he loves me, I allow some of his shows) most the stuff is stuff that we watch ogether. And the rest is all mine. Lol. Can’t wait til Grimm comes back!! It’s such a good show, maybe bc there are stories we grew u p with but with a spin. Lol. I don’t have on demand, only have dvr with DISH. had DISH for almost 3 yrs and it’s still the cheapest. Only pay $70 a month. That’s with tax. It’s amazing, and we only ever have problems if it’s raining to hard to even see your hand in front of your face if you’re outside, even though I never go outside. Lol. It’s hard to decided what to erase though.
Velocity Pictures says
The public at present determinesspecifically what it wants for amusement, definitely not the major studios and representatives. Should you add to that distribution on the Internet and, news reports internet pages, from rumor to whole movies. It’s a completely new society. Some of it great, some not.
Stephanie Jankowski says
Yes. My thoughts exactly.
“So I go in to the DVR and look at what is clogging up my shit” This? Makes me really want to check this gal out. “There is NO HOPE for your black, dead SOUL. Die in a fire: This makes me want to REALLY read her. Thanks for sharing Joy!