Why God Gave Me a Girl

Envisioning my future family, I always saw myself as a mom of boys. I love me some shoes, but I have never been a girly-girl, and I worried that I wouldn’t know what to do with one of my own. Of course I had been told that boys are easier; boys love their Mamas; boys aren’t expensive; boys, boys, boys! I remembered what a project I was as a teenager, and quietly crossed my fingers that I wouldn’t have to experience the kind of drama I put my parents through.

You don’t even know.

The first time my husband and I were expecting, we didn’t find out the sex of the baby. Our boy was born in 2009, and he was automatically showered with sports-related attire, blues and grays, and manly car blankets lest anyone confuse him for a female. I honestly didn’t have a problem with it. I like sports. Blues and grays are nice. I drive a car.

Almost two years later, I was hugely pregnant with our second and we again opted out of gender identification at the ultrasound. Our daughter was born in May of 2011. I was immediately in love. I was also immediately nervous. I didn’t understand why this little ball of baby had me so anxious. Were people expecting me to treat her differently than I did my son? Was I going to have to pretend I loved ruffly, lacy pink dresses? Would my husband treat her like a fragile piece of glass just because she had a vagina? And why did I care when I happily accepted “stereotypical” gifts for my son less than two years earlier?

Fast forward to today, just a few short weeks before my girl’s second birthday: she’s a rough and tumble kind of gal. My first clue? She was born with a fractured clavicle, yet never once let on that it bothered her. She flailed around and moved with ease, as though her tiny bones weren’t trying to fuse themselves back together under her fresh pink skin. Today we have dubbed her Man Hands (after a Seinfeld episode) because she is the opposite of dainty and gentle. Nothing in her path is safe, least of all our hearts, and I love it.

She actually weened herself around 11 months. She saved me the agony over making the “first year” decision, and although I probably would have nursed her for as long as she wanted, Miss Thang decided she had had enough. And that was that. I should also mention that she absolutely refused any artificial nipples of any kind EVER, which posed a few issues, but she’s a girl who knows what she wants and when she wants it. It simultaneously makes me proud and crazy, and I have to give her props for being a little fire cracker.

She has been watching me get ready in the mornings and now insists, “Ella Mommy make-up, too.” I hand her a clean blush brush and she sits there happily swiping pretend “Mommy make-up” on her flawless face. I did give in when the temperatures surpassed 60 degrees, though:


And between you and me, those little dresses? Kind of adorable.


If you’re not busy tomorrow, check back here when I visit my dear friend over at Questionable Choices in Parenting and we offer you an exciting giveaway (my FIRST ever!) from none other than Jill Smokler, AKA: Scary Mommy! 

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  1. I thought boys were easier, until recently. Now I’ve come to the conclusion – goldfish are easiest.

    I loved having a baby girl though. Now? Breasts, hormones, tears, mascara, perfume, One Direction and blogging. And she’s not 11 yet.

  2. Michael barone says:

    I always wanted all nephews no nieces never thinking a niece as perfect as mine would be possible so I am a happy uncle or in the words of Phil Robertson happy happy happy

  3. See, I am terrified of having boys because I had all sisters, and I’m not sure I will be able to handle a boy. My husband is from an all-boy family though, so I guess he can coach me through it. Ella sounds adorable and much like my baby sister, who, at nearly 13, seems to have no problem with both dressing and looking girly while being a tomboy through and through. :)

    • Sarah, you and the hubs are in the perfect position: lots of girl experience, lots of boy experience. How fun it will be when you have your little one!!

  4. I also have a son and a daughter. I can totally relate to the “firecracker” description you gave–except both my kids are like that. My son, nearly 8, is very much into “boy” things and my daughter, “girl” things–she’s three and a half. However, I have been surprised along the way as their unique personalities evolve. They are amazing little people! I am not overly “girly”, but I have to say I get very easily taken in by the little girls’ clothing in Super Target or anywhere we go. Our daughter is a confounding blend if natural athlete and diva. She’s out there dribbling a small basketball up to 30 times in a row, wearing a pink tutu and purple flats. I love it. I am humbled and awestruck that God gave me these precious little ones.

    Your children and your love for them sound beautiful. Isn’t it great (though sometimes) exhausting that just when we think we know that to expect, we get something different? Enjoy your family! –Alison

    • Alison, you said it best: I am humbled and awestruck that God gave me these precious little ones.


      Thank you for reading and commenting!!

  5. Aw I love the girl! Maybe you’ll get lucky and she’ll potty train herself like I did.

    • Don’t toy with my emotions, Jill. If girls really can potty train themselves, and you’re living proof, my hopes are high. Very, very high!

  6. AW!!!! So sweet!! She sounds like she may be a mini YOU!! But who knows… that’s the thrill of parenting- you just never know how things will unfold. Even if you had two boys- the unknown of raising either is exciting and neither is easy. ;) But both are freaking AWESOME in their own right!

    • Chris, you’re so right! I love the surprises of raising kids! Neither of my kiddos looks like I imagined they would, and they’re each quirky in their own right. Makes me want another one ;)

  7. Look at that little tootsie!!!

    If we were to have another, I’d be scared to have a boy. I know what to do with girls and I find boys are so destructive compared to my sweet little bear. But I’m sure it’s really cool having one of each as you get to experience both!

    When you are getting knocked up with #3?!

  8. Sweet, sweet stuff! I was never a girly-girl either and yet I have grown to become slightly overboard girly with my daughter. I am totally dreading the day that she tells me I can’t buy her any more dresses and rainbow striped tights.

    • Thanks, Melissa! And I feel you–I can’t get enough of these cute little outfits! My girl is into shoes, which makes me proud, so I have a feeling we’ll share that bond forever!

  9. First, I absolutely love that your brother thinks his niece is perfect. Awwwww! Secondly, I never birthed any girls, just boys, but did raise my stepdaughter from the time she was 5. She did go through a “girly” stage – for about 5 minutes. At 24 years old, she is strong, sassy, smart and could take on her brothers hands down! Now, she has a baby girl who is about to turn 5 months old. It will be interesting to see how she parents her. So far, I’m loving having a baby girl around!!

    • Ohmy–I want to snuggle that 5-month-old! As feisty as my gal is, I’m totally okay with it because I think she’ll grow up to be outspoken and independent in the sense that she won’t take anyone’s shit. We need more females like that. GIRL POWER!

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