THIS is Why Parenting is So Hard

I was ready to wrap my daughter in shiny paper, slap a bow on her head, and ship her off to another family by way of FedEx today. Her antics in church resulted in my having to yank her from the pew and quarantine us in a separate room. She kept yelling “ELLA POTTY” and I didn’t want people to think I was a terrible mother who didn’t let her kids pee, so I couldn’t ignore her. Out we went.

Here’s the thing, though: she doesn’t even use the friggin’ potty!! The child is in diapers, yet screams ELLA POTTY any time she doesn’t want to do something she’s supposed to, i.e. sit at church, sit at dinner, sit anywhere…

She’s no dummy, folks.

The second we left church, she wanted to snuggle and be in my arms. I was still fuming. She must’ve sensed my irritation because she lay her head on my shoulder and gently tapped my nose with her finger, “Nose! Boop!”

And, of course, any residual anger melted away and I pressed my cheek up to her cheek and loved her so much that I could have burst at any second.

Until we got home of course and it started all over again.

This parenting thing is no joke. It is HARD. And all of those celebrities (lookin’ at you, Kim Kardashian) who think a child is a fashion accessory is in for a rude awakening. There are so many reasons why being a good parent is the most difficult thing most of us will ever do, and I’ve only listed a few. Feel free to share yours in the comments!

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1. Our kids are inevitably going to act like assholes. But we still have to love them. That’s quite the conflict.

2. It isn’t just the newborns who keep their parents up at night. Bigger kids just bring different worries. Instead of “is the baby still breathing?” or “is the 3-year-old asleep in his bed or in a dresser drawer?,” parents of older kids get to obsess over why their 12-year-old didn’t make the little league team and if their 16-year-old is safe while on behind the wheel. It is never ending!

3. Being a parent is more about being a good role model than I realized. I don’t make it a habit to use the Lord’s name in vain; however, I must be doing it more than I think because just the other day, my son exclaimed “JESUS CHRIST THAT SCARED ME!” after something startled him. I didn’t like the way it sounded rolling off his tongue (my husband wasn’t too thrilled either…), and I felt like I had failed rather than just made a mistake.

4. The whole failure thing. It’s heavy, man. Society looks at parents to do right by their kids, and regardless if moms and dads are trying their best, if the kids still eff up, guess who’s getting a collective finger pointed right in their faces? Look at the horrific Sandy Hook ordeal; the gunman (whose name does not deserve mention in print, anywhere) was barely identified when the media began ripping apart his mother.

5. Kids, especially young ones, limit us. As much as we don’t want to admit it, it’s the truth. Can’t just get up and go any more. When the baby wakes, you wake. Period. Some of us take it in stride as it’s what we expected, even wanted. But there are others who’ve no idea what they’re in for and then blame the kids when their lives change. Not cool.

6. Choosing a name. I’m serious! My son is Brady; my daughter’s name is Ella; our dog’s name is Bella. My rationale? I love those names and, bless her furry little face, my Bella won’t be around much longer. This does, however, pose a problem when I’m all fired up and can’t remember who to yell at: Ella + Brady = Bella. So much confusion in our house. You don’t even know.

7. Free time. I’m sorry, what’s that?

8. The second we’ve got a routine down or we can anticipate a certain behavior, the kids switch it up on us. They loved green beans yesterday, but today? They’re painting with them. It’s cool, kids, I was hoping for an earthy green in the dining room anyway.

9. We can’t punch the people who hurt them. I mean, we can, but bail can be expensive. The feeling of helplessness we experience as parents is unparalleled. I’ve felt powerless in a few situations, one with my baby brother (he was 21, but whatever) and another with my husband, and as awful as those times were, they are nothing compared to what I’m in for when my babies get their first broken heart, don’t make the team, or are–God help the effers who try–bullied at school.

10. Rules. How many rules are there to parenting?! Say please and thank you. Address your elders. Don’t lie. Share. Look both ways. Always try your hardest. AHHHH! I don’t always share. I sometimes forget to say thank you. And there have been days where I probably should’ve been hit by a bus because I was texting whilst walking. Yet I’m supposed to instill ALL of this crap into my kids?! I’m tired.

Well, friends, my 15-minutes o’ March writing is up. I don’t have a chance to proofread, so don’t judge the mechanics; just dig the contents.

P.S. I’m sitting in Starbucks typing my heart out (unfortunately at a table near the bathroom) and someone just made the potty smell so foul that I want to die. If I’m not back with a new post tomorrow, someone please tell my husband he was great last night and my kids to cut their bullshit, but I still love them.

P.P.S. Are we Facebook friends? We should be. Find me here!

P.P.P.S. Someone used the search term “vajayjay” and found me today. That makes me happy.

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Comments

  1. Tasha Hudgeons says:

    Loved this!

    I have nominated you for the Liebster Award because you are one of my favorite blogs! Check it out here! http://www.newenglishmuminamerica.com/2013/03/liebster-blog-award.html

    Have a great day!

    ~ Tasha

  2. Emily Genther says:

    It took a three-year-old laying the verbal smack down on her fellow class mates for me to realize how much I chew people’s asses. Kids love to parrot everything we do. Here’s hoping they pick up on some of the good stuff too.

    • Ain’t that the truth! I’m sick of my family telling me all my kids’ good qualities come from my husband, too! Funny how we’re supposed to be the “teachers,” but our kids are the ones schooling us, huh?!

  3. momseye says:

    This…is…PERFECT! I mean, EXACTLY, right? Lately, I just keep thinking “Holy sh*t, this is hard!” My sister, who’s first baby is turning 3 weeks tomorrow, keeps asking me when it gets easier. I don’t have the heart to tell her that it doesn’t. You just sort of get used to a new level of difficult in life. It doesn’t really get easier, it just becomes normal and the difficult things change. I’ve been thinking about a similar post for my site, so if I write it, I didn’t steal it ;)

    • Oh your poor sister! She doesn’t even know that this is the “easy” part. A newborn, no toddler–only gets harder, right?! And no worries on your post–great minds think alike ;)

  4. motherhoodisanart says:

    You know what’s really hard…Interruptions! I have read this same blog post 3 times since yesterday and as soon as I get to the bottom to write a comment I get interrupted with someone needing something. Important stuff too….like where their purple marker is, cleaning up what they just spilled etc. I need a few more Nose! Boops! today!

  5. Penny Roach says:

    Vajayjay????? OMG, I’m laughing so hard I have to pee. But definitely not at your local Starbuck’s. I hear it smells in there!

    You know what? I was so, so, so, so, so (did I say so) freaking worried about how the kids would turn out and I obsessed over every word I said and every move I made. Guess what happened? Almost turned the oldest into an obsessive nut!! Much more relaxed with my youngest and he is the chillest almost 14 year old I know. Straight A Honors student with great manners and teachers love, but has been known to talk like a sailor…actually repeating some of my tried and true favorite sayings. Whatevs. As long as he doesn’t do in front of teachers or Grandma.

    Do your absolute best to be sure, but know that could change slightly from day to day. And as one of your previous commenters (a smart gal to be sure) said, they’ll pick up the good stuff too!!

    Just LOVE your blog posts!!!

  6. Meredith says:

    This was the perfect post for me this morning. So often I feel totally snowed by the weight of this parenting gig. I feel like it swallows me and I’m the only who waving a white flag in surrender, so it’s nice to know I’m not alone. This is REALLY HARD!!

  7. Amen sista! Why don’t more women just admit this!? If we all just said it, out loud, we’d all feel a whole lot better. Just like i once admitted that I had a favorite child. what? you know you do too. Sure it changes, but we all know one is easier than the other, right? i have a great idea for you though. i know what makes parenting easier. Want me to tell you? They are called Mojito Muffs.
    Check it out;)
    thepursuitofnormal.blogspot.com/2012/07/mojito-muffs-beer-goggles-for-grown-ups.html
    Vicky

  8. Jill Pinnella Corso says:

    Kids sound awful. Not yours. Just in general.

  9. Melanie says:

    Thank you for this. I have a 2 1/2 year old DS and am pregnant with our 2nd boy due in November. I’m kinda freaking out about having TWO kids, since the one we already have can drive me to the edge and back in less than 2.3 seconds. How on earth do people take care of two kids? I have no idea. I know it will happen, but lord this is intense! lol I do love it though, and wouldn’t change it for the world, except on those days I still wish I were single and able to go somewhere, anywhere, without lugging around half of everything I own.

    • Oh, lady, I hear ya!! Being a parent is no joke, and adding a second to the mix–at least for me–was a complete game changer. On the flip side, my gal pal just had her second and he assimilated so nicely into the family that it was a seamless transition for everyone. I hope that no matter what the first few months of TWO KIDS holds for you, you know that you’re not alone! Hell, start a blog to cope–I did! xo

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