If We Were All Three-Years-Old…

Happy Friday, pals!

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Back to our regularly scheduled programming…

The rain was relentless, forcing us to stay indoors. I had pulled out all the stops trying to entertain the kids with painting projects and Playdoh picnics, countless games of Hide and Seek and Candyland. I was exhausted by noon, but since only the girl child naps these days, there was no reprieve in sight. That was okay by me especially because on this particular afternoon, my little man readily shared his deep preschool thoughts:

What if it rained on the sun? Would the sun still be so hot?

If I keep growing, will my head go through the roof?

Will a black crayon show up on brown paper?

Don’t you think everyone should be three?

He was on to something with that last question. What if three-year-olds ran the world?

dandyweed

 

   Source

…there would be fewer grudges. You ever seen preschoolers upset about the same thing for more than 2 minutes?

…we would appreciate the simplicity of life. Blowing a dandelion weed brings nothing but joy.

…there is zero responsibility. Less stress, less sickness, more productivity. BOOM! Just fixed our economy.

…there would be no prejudice. The only animosity would be predicated on a person’s actions, and if someone messes up my sidewalk chalk masterpiece, shit will get real.

…laughter would be in abundance.

…humility what? Quick, everyone take off your pants and burp as loudly as you can. No one is judging our thighs or lack of table manners.

…we would be able to eat nonstop and throw tantrums all in the name of “she’s growing.”

…our faith would dictate our behavior which would create a more peaceful world. You tellin’ me Santa won’t come if I bite this other kid? Well, hell, put away the nuclear weapons. I need me that LeapPad.

…all of us would believe we are the center of the universe so no one could call the other selfish or narcissistic.

…we would produce enough energy to heat every home in America by just being awake. Saving the environment one kid at a time.

Granted, no one would be able to drive or drink coffee or have sex, and chocolate would be limited, but I guess that’s a small price to pay. No wine either.

Screw that, put the kids back in preschool and kindly step aside so we adults can continue to ruin the environment and hate one another as we wish.

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Comments

  1. I think your three year old is in a cuter and more adorable stage right now than my three year old. Three-and-a-half year old. I don’t want to scare you. Or scar you… ;P xoxo Jane
    nothingbythebook recently posted…Turning No into Yes: Jane gets played big timeMy Profile

    • Jane, my son will be 4 at the end of July and I’m holding out hope that the Parenting Gods did me a solid and gave me him because they gave me my daughter. Also known as Miss I Will Scream and Bite You If I Hear the Word No. Only fair, right?!

  2. I have a four year old who is running for dictator for life. I wonder what the world would come to if she were in charge? This was awesome-thanks for sharing!
    The Sadder But Wiser Girl recently posted…Spring: A Performance ReviewMy Profile

  3. hi stephanie, i am your newest follower via more than mommies mixer, i would love for you to follow me back and join our ongoing Fun Friday Blog hop!

    huggies♥
    rea
    rea recently posted…Contributors Wanted!My Profile

  4. I love this! I love the joy and wonder in blowing dandelions, and also love how you said screw it, we need wine. :D
    Kristi Campbell recently posted…I’m stuck on an island just like SawyerMy Profile

  5. My three year old is personally responsible for the seeding of all dandelions in the neighborhood, which doesn’t quite make up for her picking all the neighbors actual flowers out of their gardens.

    It would sacrilege, but Imagine by the Beatles would be hilarious redone to the match this article. “Imagine jelly beans for dinner, and peace based on bribery with toys. No prejudice, or responsibility, just running around naked making noise.” That’s it. I’m shutting down my blog to become a songwriter.

    I LOVE your new look.

    • CARISA!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That song was in my head when I wrote this!!!!! Great minds, woman, great minds!

      Thank for the comment and kind words about the new design. It is purty ;)

      • I’m starting to understand your need for a large exclamation point allowance. I’m not knocking it….synchronicity of genius caliber deserves extreme emphasis.

        Your site is clean looking, and well organized AND purty. I followed the designer’s button from your homepage for further investigation.

        And now, instead of sending inconsiderately long DMs, I’m doing it in your comment section. Email next time. Swear.

  6. I want to be 3!!! Okay, the no wine thing might not work so well, but the rest…and total brilliance with the last point–if I can somehow bottle all my kids’ energy, screw PECO. Let the savings roll in…
    Meredith recently posted…CalibamaMOM of the YearMy Profile

  7. Steph, I read this 3 times and then found myself just sitting here and thinking about it for 15 minutes staring off in space…This is why I never get anything done, I sit and daydream too much! At first I didn’t agree with you on 3 year olds running the world after I recalled the fiasco I went through yesterday. I needed to clean the living room yesterday from top to bottom so I sent my son downstairs to play. First it took me a long time to clean up all of his toys in the living room before I started and then after I was all done I went down to the basement to fetch him….the place was TORE up! Seriously every block, lincoln log, matchbox car and puzzle piece was thrown around the room like confetti. It took me 2 hours to clean it all up…I was not happy. For that reason I thought he wouldn’t be a good candidate to run the world but after thinking about it longer I came to the realization that if I was three years old too….I probably wouldn’t be concerned about cleaning the living room in the first place or any room for that matter!
    motherhoodisanart recently posted…My Own Little Pieces of Art HistoryMy Profile

    • Hahahaha! We had a similar day yesterday. The next person to buy my kids toys with more than 3 pieces is being exiled from my life! ;)

  8. As always! Thank you for hosting with us this week! Chloe is the queen of instantaneously changing her mind. I want Mommy, No I want daddy. I have to go potty. No I don’t. I want water. No I want milk. The world is her oyster and in her three year old mind she can have it all whenever she wants! :)
    Christine at More Than Mommies recently posted…More Than Mommies Mixer – Holy Cow it’s MAY EditionMy Profile

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