Happy Friday, pals! I’m out of the office today, so one of my favorite bloggers (and people) offered to cover for me. She’s here all weekend answering phones and making you laugh; it’s the lovely Meredith from The Mom of the Year! She’s also in the hilarstical (new word, Merriam-Webster?) momthology I Just Want to Pee Alone. I’ve obviously left you in good hands.
I have a confession. I am scared, very scared of neon. This isn’t something I say lightly. At first, I didn’t even realize it was happening. I had innocently placed one of my obsessively regular orders to Carters, the mecca of young children’s clothing. The package arrived and I tore it open in the gleeful anticipation. What 24 mo. treasures had Carter’s delivered for my daughter? I ripped open the plastic bags with bated breathe, then promptly screamed in pain as the glaring hues permanently seared my eyeballs. What had happened? I ordered pink and received blinding horror. WHAT IS UP WITH THE NEON??
It would have been easy to assume that my fav clothing company had sold me out, or at least placed some color-blind chiquita in charge of design for the season, but then I started to see neon creeping up in other places at an alarming rate. We went for dinner; the pretween at the next table was rocking a fluorescent orange mini-skirt. I went to Target to quickly grab a new jacket; nothing but neon denim. Had the 80s officially made their re-debut and no one had told me?? Darn, I knew I was screwing myself by being too lazy to read my latest Star magazines…
The good news: this phase will likely pass before my children are old enough to select their own clothing. The bad news: Holy-heck-Almighty, pass me my sunglasses!
Until this phase passes, it is probably best that I avoid Gap like the plague. (My budget agrees with this.) Many people have fear of lovely, normal things, like spiders, or snakes or impending doom. I fear neon. Don’t get me wrong, I love me a good Wilson Phillips tune as much as the next gal, but the side pony-tails and their complimentary neon t-shirts are going to have to step aside because my retinas are limited, and let’s be honest–the hot colors are just hideously ugly.
Your adorable matching prints and/or pastels? OBSOLETE. It is time to go hideous or go home. If you can’t drink the Kool-Aid and rock your squint-worthy hues, join me hovering in fear in the corner. I have extra sunglasses–and the really good dark ones you can totally put over your regular glasses. We will hide out together and ride out the trend. Here’s to 2013 in all it’s 1980s glory.
Meredith blogs at The Mom of the Year, dedicatedly earning her title one epic parenting fail at a time. When her kids aren’t busy pummeling each other with legos or requiring their 16th sippy cup refill of the day, she tries to offer quick, relatable laughs for fellow parents of the world and all their empathizers. She remains entirely terrified by crafts, promises to never share any useful household tips, and is fully committed to a less serious look at the world of parenting. Social media is beyond her comprehension, but she makes a pass at Twitter and Facebook.