Last week, my 8-year-old son lost another tooth. My husband, affectionately and appropriately referred to as #HusbandWTF on social media, put the kid to bed that night with nary a reminder of said lost tooth. I didn't add it to my to-do list either, therefore IT DID NOT EXIST, and naturally I forgot ... » Learn More about Stoopid Tooth Fairy
One of my favorite stories about a matriarch in our family is about trash. Her children shared garbage duty in their house: gather it, bag it, put it out. Not an awful lot to ask of able-bodied teens, but as parents know, our children tend to have selective hearing. For instance, "I baked ... » Learn More about Take the F*cking Folder!
This post is sponsored by the National Fire Protection Association Know what I've realized as my kids get older? The baby days were a breeze. Oh yes, I said it. A BREEZE. Give me permanent exhaustion and sore nipples over kids' soccer concussions and free-will any day. I much prefer to keep my ... » Learn More about Hard But Necessary: Talking About Fire Prevention
I've admitted it before: my face ruins things. Wedding photos, rando photos, live television appearances, feelings that I'd rather keep to myself... Some people wear their hearts on their sleeves? Well, mine's all up on my grill. There's no mistaking how I'm feeling; one look at my mug and ... » Learn More about “Mommy, That’s Your Disappointed Face”
On this day eight years ago, you were gently lifted from my body at 3:30 am. Certain you were my Mia Rose, I slurred liar! when the doctor announced you were a boy. Anesthesia and I never did get along. You didn't come into the world the way I had envisioned, and you weren't the dark-haired ... » Learn More about Who Said You Could Turn Eight?!