My panties are in a bunch today: my son insisted on waking before the sun, and today he took it upon himself to create art work with glitter paint sans my supervision. My hardwood floors look like Ke$ha and Studio 54 had a baby.
You’ve either been living under a rock or are a real adult if you haven’t heard the news that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, AKA: Kimye, are expecting a baby. Reportedly, the baby is a girl, which means there is no way in hell that poor kid won’t
be all kids of effed up have a first name that starts with the letter “K.” I personally think Kim seeks out men whose first names start with a K as to create the perfect Mommy-Daddy-Baby K Trifecta, but that’s an allegation for another time.
The Kardashian Klan has exhausted a lot of the K-names since Mama Kris has been popping out kids since the late 70’s, so it may prove difficult to come up with something fitting for Kimye’s spawn. That’s why I’ve decided to lend a hand.
Kitty. Because we wouldn’t even know Kim existed had she not made a special movie featuring her kitty…
Kash. Because that’s what Kim was paid for making her special movie.
Kristmas. Kim’s middle name is Noel so this is just an educated guess on my part. I realize the fact that I even know this makes me pathetic.
Kato Kaelin. Just to keep the past alive.
Klondike. An attractive mix of chocolate and vanilla, not to mention one of the countless ways Mr. West insults women in his “music.”
Kryptonite. Fatherly responsibility is to Kanye what radioactive material is to Superman. I hope I’m wrong for the sake of little Kryptonite, but I’m not.
Kustody. This doesn’t really merit an explanation, does it?
If you have brain cells to waste, feel free to leave additional suggestions in the comments!